Honestly this reads like it’s a joke but for the sake of keeping my blogging fingers fresh (I haven’t blogged in over 48 hours) I’ll pretend this is a real post.

Why would someone poop in the shower?

That’s right poop is funny! When I send the bros in my group text a pic of a log fresh off of corn on the cob and hot dogs night at Casa De Chavy it’s always hilarious when I get the classic “Sir how many times do I have to tell you I don’t know you, I think you have the wrong number” response I laugh my fucking balls off!

Poop is funny because it’s something we all do and it’s very tapoo (I mean taboo).

Switching gears here.

I don’t get why this mom is advertising her son’s pooping habits to some small town market group on Facebook, if anything this reflects poorly on her, not the son. CONGRATS ON NOT BEING ABLE TO POTTY TRAIN YOUR SON CRYSTAL LYNN! AND FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, NO I DO NOT WANT TO BUY YOUR PYRAMID SCHEME FACIAL CREAM!

Thank god that for the sake of whatever small town this poo bandit is from is blurred out of the post. I’m sure whatever town this happened in has already had someone go viral for berating McDonald’s workers over some diced onions on their McDouble, or a trailer park experiencing a meth related explosion. This is a town that cannot financially recover from a poo bandit going viral on Reddit. Sure they have the petting zoo that has the only giraffe in the tri county area that’ll bring in some money for the city, but the countless amount of workers caught banging the other zoo animals has taken what should be a 3.5 star private zoo down to a 1.5 star animal fuck fest thunderdome.

But, if anyone happens to recognize this post from their local marketplace and put an offer in for a cool $125 on the Nintendo Switch that’d be pretty awesome of you. You can remain anonymous if you don’t want me or the millions of Branders reading this blog to know that you’re from a town of such degenerate cousin fuckers.

Header image via Nintendo (LINK)

Facebook post via Reddit (LINK)

Poop GIF via Tenor (LINK)

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