I mean, that’s 100% a fart. We can all agree on that right? Clear as day stinker. The only question now is who done it? I’ve done the right thing here and put together odds.
Joe Biden: -750
Joe is the head and shoulders favorite. This is like if the 16-0 Patriots played the 0-16 Browns. Yeah there is a mathematical chance the Pats don’t win but you have to put your house on New England. Joe’s mind has been slipping for some time and now it sounds like his sphincter is not too far behind. (Behind, get it?) So if you have the money to toss around you put it all on stinky Joe
Tom Wolf: +550
Now if you’re looking for value, you throws some money on Governor Wolf. If you watch back the video again, the moment the mystery toot is heard Wolf’s eyebrows shoot up. Is that because he was so taken aback or is this a classic case of, you smelt it you dealt it? Also why is his seat so low? Any chance he’s actually on the toilet and the book shelf is simply a Zoom background deep fake?
The Field: +10000000
Lastly you have the field. This is a way outside chance because the only person I could think of that would fall into this category would be some camera guy. But that would have to be some young intern that drew the short straw and had to go help Joe set up his internet. It’s not out of the question to think this, I assume Derek or Jim, was standing near the camera and let his Taco Bell lunch slip out between his cheeks. But accidental farts are an old man’s game. Young guys hold it in until they want to do something interesting like fart into a lighter or pretend they are kicking a field goal as they push it out. Old guys like Wolf and Biden fart without even knowing it. It’s as natural as breathing for them.
PS: Would love to see Trump fart on camera. Watching him spin zone that would be priceless. “Yes I farted but it’s the greatest smelling fart you’ve ever smelled. Some people say my ass gas could be the cure for corona…..VIRUS. My farts are so potent they can be smelled all the way in China.”