Former WWE Superstar Marty Jannetty took to his Facebook today to ask his friends for some advice during these uncertain times.
Did he ask how to maintain social distancing at the grocery store? Nope.
Did he ask how long to wash your hands after returning from said grocery store? Nope.
Did he ask if a girl who wants to have sex with him is lying about her age? DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!
This comes off more as a humble brag if I’m being honest. Marty Jannetty is 60 years and looks wise he has seen better days. So when some mother/daughter combo offers to have sex with him he feels the need to post about it on social media to inform his tens of fans that he still has “it”. But you obviously can’t post “Hey I am about to have sex!” on Facebook without people thinking you’re a douchebag, so what does Marty do? He asks the people if the girl looks like she’s 20 as she claims. Which in his defense doesn’t make him look like a douchebag, but it does make him look like a big time creep.
I have to be honest the source here is very unreliable. Wrestlers from the 80’s are notorious for telling tall tales to make themselves seem larger than life, from wrestling with a broken neck to claiming they drank 50 beers and then wrestled the best match of their life they’ll say just about anything and everything happened and hope you believe it. So for all we know this poor girl’s pictures popped up on Marty’s newsfeed and he decided to make up this story to show that “MARTY STILL FUCKS!”.
What was he thinking? Why would he make up something so crazy and creepy? Well I can’t explain why, but I have to think that Marty snorting mountains of cocaine in the 80’s and suffering numerous concussions ripped the already loose hanging wire that was good judgment right out of his brain.
Header image via ARS Techinica