If you’re a Mortal Kombat fan and excited to pay $40 for the new DLC Story Mode give me a hell yeah!
Okay so I don’t know how many of you play Mortal Kombat but I’ve grown up with the game (both born in 1992) and it’s one of my favorite video game series of all time. Nobody at the arcade in the mall or sleepovers at Jimmy’s could survive the “Johnny Cage Nut Punch” smackdown I was handing out on a regular basis. And when the words “FINISH HIM” flashed onto the screen I was ready to show everyone who the captain was. A lot of people would go the “Fatality” route and rip their opponents spine out or burn them to a crisp to establish dominance via power. But me, I was all about establishing power through humiliation.
After winning pretty handily I’ve got the energy to bust out the Charleston. It’s too easy!
Oh look at that I beat you with a fucking rabbit pissing and shitting on my head for 2 rounds that’s way more embarrassing than me just ripping your skull out!
Or my personal favorite the autograph. This is the equivalent of high stepping into the end zone during a game of Madden.
Anyways I’m taking a trip down nostalgia lane because today the Mortal Kombat YouTube Channel uploaded a new trailer to show off their new and improved “Friendship” finishing moves.
Now while I am excited to see Netherealm Studios bring back one of my favorite things from the original games part of me realizes that I no longer have the skills to humiliate my opponents. Anytime I’ve played on any difficulty higher than medium I usually get mollywhopped by the computer and watch as my character gets chopped to pieces. And playing online? Holy shit I get matched up against people who play this game for weeks on end training for the Mortal Kombat Olympics (seriously it’s a thing) and I’m lucky to get one move in before I just get worked over like Robert Kraft in a massage parlor (timely reference I know).
So while this once dominant king won’t be able to retake his throne with Friendships in this new update, I’ll be more than happy to set the difficultly to “very easy” and relieve the glory days like an even more pathetic Al Bundy.
Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermath is due to release on the Xbox 1 and PS4 for $40 on May 26th. You can preorder it wherever games are sold.