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New Philly Special: The Shortened Season Sweep

Kmess

What do Philadelphia sports fans like to do more than anything else? (Besides drink)

Fight.

Whether it be with other fanbases or even within their own fanbase. Hell, there are STILL Philly fans that think Big Dick Nick should still be the Eagles starting QB.

Now, what would cause arguing across the sports world more than if the sports leagues come back, and have shortened seasons with championships.

You know damn well people across the country would be yelling and screaming after shortened season champions are crowned.

Sure, right now we are all united behind “we just want sports we don’t care if the season is shortened.”

However, as soon as there is a first pitch, the puck drops and the ball is tipped it is game on and that all goes out the window. The fanbases of the teams that lose the championships. The fanbases of the teams that “didn’t have enough time to get back in the race” will all bitch and complain and will all declare that those championships aren’t truly valid.

“ASTERISK!! ASTERISK!!”

And, I feel like there is always the “yeah but” with Philly teams. Carson was gonna win the MVP “but he got hurt.” The Eagles should have gone to the SB 8 times in a row. “But the Bucs.”

So if sports comeback with shortened seasons I am here and now predicting…

NBA Champs: Sixers

NHL Champs: Flyers

MLB Champs: Phillies

The Sixers should have all their horses back and healthy. And what would be more Sixers than winning a shortened season championship to save Brett Brown’s job?

The Flyers were the hottest team in hockey. And, they haven’t won in a billion years… The sports gods are just fucking with Flyers fans and making them wait a few extra months.

The Phillies can compete in an 82 game season. Bryce Harper is going to come out of the gates on fire and can single handedly put a team on his back for 82. He might hit 82 homeruns in 82 games.

See, there are actually logical reasons for all three teams to be crowned shortened season champions.

And, it would be just too perfectly Philly. All 3 championships would come with “Yeah but….” arguments. Even within Philly itself.

“Do you feel cheated by having all 3 championships this season being from shortened seasons? 610….”

“Hey Mike… I feel all 3 championship parade routes should be shorter than usual because they didn’t really earn the full schedule championship parade. I’ll hang up and listen.”

Defending 3 consecutive championships that other fanbases say aren’t legit all while not giving a shit what they think… Is perfectly Philly.

This has to happen because it is just too good not to. It would be a gift from god to see all the craziness after this shit show of a quarantine.

-Kmess

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