Michael Jordan Can Sense When Women Are Pregnant

If there is one question that is literally never OK to speak out loud to a woman it’s are you pregnant? I do not care if a baby is crowning out of the birthing canal, just don’t ask. Let women take their autumnal photo shoots on a bail of hay with our stomachs painted like a pumpkin holding up a sonogram in focus with the caption “I’M PREGNANT” to find out.

Maybe the only person that could avoid cancellation for asking a woman if she’s pregnant is Michael Jordan. Turns out he doesn’t need to because he can just sense it.

We’re going to find out pretty quickly if this is true or not and I’m going to need a statement from Andrea Kramer and Hannah Storm immediately.

If Michael Jordan has a list of more than 1 woman he has declared pregnant before they had a positive test we need to monetize it. I need ABC to develop a series of Michael Jordan just walking around sensing pregnant people and making them take a test on the spot. That might be even more impressive than his basketball career.

Are there other women out there who Michael has done this to and then they found out they weren’t pregnant? I think I’d just try really hard to get pregnant after that just to not disappoint Michael Jordan being wrong.


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