Fried-Ay: No Fans, No Masks, and No MA Golf…

Okay, so it’s Friday, which means it’s Fried-ay, which means it’s time to split open my brain and leake genius juice all over my Macbook pro keyboard.

For those unfamiliar with Fried-ay, it’s a running blog I used to pump out every Friday back when I used to blog. The whole concept was that my brain was fried from a week of sweating mayonaise over my marketing spreadsheets like some dickhead.

Essentially, it’s what I call “Shotgun blogging.” There is no narrative structure, no grammatical efficiency, and really no point. When I write these, I don’t check for spelling; furthermore, if I make a spelling mistake, I just keep bulldozing through. If you’re someone disinterested in that concept, then fuck off. I alreadt got the page click so who cares.

In this day and age, it’s hard not to feel for these millionaire athletes. A few weeks ago, Lebron came out in an interview saying that he refuses to play without the fans.

The problem is the way he said it. As if he was doing us a favor and on our side or somethjng. Like, what dude? You’re refusing to play for us? Ummm we want you to play. As much as I love having absolutely nothinf to watch, I wouldn’t mind the entertainment.

These athletes live such a hard life. They really do. I mean, could you imagine being paid millions of dollars/being able to literally fuck anyone you want BUT not being allowed to openly protest the companies that pay you while on the job? Talk about institutional oppression…

If you aren’t wearing a mask right now, you’re an absolute fucking moron: you deserve the rona at this point. We need to thin out the herd and people like you need to go.

For those keeping score at home, the guy who currently looks at the “no mask” protocol like an order from Auschwitz is the same guy who was bellowing that “it’s just the flu” a month ago.

I had some guy behind me at Stop n’ Shop tap me on the back and inform me that wearing the mask doesn’t prevent me from getting it, but just prevents the spread of it. Like oh, thanks—you want me to take it off, you fucking moron? people like this deserve plagues. I’m dead serious. There’s no reason why I should have to share oxygen with that guy. It’s a waste of resources.

As of today, MA is officially the only state in the union where golf courses aren’t open. Governor Baker, for some reason, is holding stern on this and, although I’m not some mask criticizing blowhard, Baker’s a clown. I could see not wanting to be the first state to do it, but after EVERY OTHER STATE is like “yeah, that’s cool,” you can’t just keep the wall up.

This whole pandemic has my anxiety in a bind, and nothing takes my mind off shit quite like slicing a 3-wood through some condo’s deck window.

People need that in their lives right now. Without it, we’ll lose our collective minds. These politicians forget that all this chaos provokes anxiety, which has damaging effects on our reapiratory/immune systems. Plus, it’s good exercise. Plus (x2), I have a new set of clubs I want to break in. Do the right thing.

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