What Is Going On With Earl Thomas?


I am definitely not going to comment on a domestic violence investigation but what the fuck is going on with this Earl Thomas story? There are so many twists and turns here I would almost like a live action reenactment.

According to who else, TMZ, Earl Thomas’s wife discovered Earl and his brother naked together in the same bed with multiple other women so she held him at gunpoint until he wrested the gun away so she had to get a knife.

Like a true investigator herself, Earl’s wife Lisa was bored in the house and in the house bored and allegedly decided to log in to Earl’s Snapchat account where she found videos of him with another women? People are still doing Snapchat, let alone professional athletes? This is the least believable part of this entire story. But because men are stupid and careless she was able to track his location to an Airbnb and literally walked in on Earl and his brother in bed having an orgy.

That’s when Nina admits she pulled out the gun and put it to Earl’s head — stating “that she took out the magazine thinking that the gun could not fire.” But, cops say Nina was “unaware that the gun had a round in the chamber.”

TMZ used this helpful stock photo of the gun type for reference like we know what a gun looks like, thanks?


In an interview with Earl’s alleged mistress at the scene, she claimed Nina also threatened her and the other woman in the house — pointing the gun at them and yelling “I got something for all you hoes!”

Now I did a little investigating of my own on Earl’s public Instagram page and I scrolled 54 weeks before I found a picture of his wife. A whole year without a tagged photo will do crazy things to people.

So far no one involved has alleged that Earl himself was the aggressor in this situation at all, but that still doesn’t clear him of still having orgy’s with his brother while he is a full on married man during a global pandemic. Chill out, Earl. You should be watching film, maybe working on your footwork. Not playing light sabers with your brother at an Airbnb. Who is even staying at an Airbnb right now anyways?

Seriously though if you are quarantining with your husband/wife and children to avoid the risk of getting sick and dying of the coronavirus, and you find out they left the house to have an orgy at an Airbnb with their own brother you’d be pretty pissed off too. Not saying waving a loaded beretta in anyone’s face is the right answer, and fortunately no one was actually hurt.

Earl released a “statement” while shirtless, that he will be on TMZ tomorrow. Unfortunately this may ruin Earl’s birthday breakfast plans, and he asks people to just pray for him. So I will pray Earl stops fucking multiple women WITH HIS BROTHER  while he is married with children. That should help do the trick. Amen.


And I don’t want to be that Patriots fan but if Earl Thomas was in New England right now the team might be removed from the league.


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