I Can’t Wait To See How Roger Goodell Is Going To Screw Over Dave Portnoy

This year’s draft we all got a look into Roger’s man cave. He showed off his less than impressive football haven when you consider the guy is stealing $40 million a year. There is no way a guy that annually makes more than Jordan in his prime and runs the most powerful sports league on the planet, has this tiny of a basement.

Impossible. I’ve seen bigger man caves on the Ying Yang Twins’ episode of MTV cribs. But whatever. The point is he had such a great time that he has decided to giveaway a fan experience unlike any other to help raid money for COVID-19 relief. Awwwwww. The current bid is at $200,350. If you’re like me you might be saying, “who the fuck would pay that much money to spend the evening with this walking fart?”

Dave Portnoy you sneaky son of a bitch!! For all those at home who might not understand why this is huge, quick recap. Roger hates Dave and Dave hates Roger. Roger pretends he has no idea who Dave or Barstool Sports are, which is insane to believe. You’re trying to tell us you don’t know the biggest media outlet of your target demographic Goodell? Yeah no totally, that makes sense.

Also there is the time Portnoy was arrested at the NFL office in 2015 protesting deflate gate and let’s not forget the towels.

Kansas City Chiefs v New England Patriots
FOXBORO, MA – SEPTEMBER 07: Fans hold towels depicting NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell wearing a clown nose during the game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the New England Patriots at Gillette Stadium on September 7, 2017 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

To act like you didn’t see 70,000 bright blue towels with your face on it at the Patriots home opener following their Super Bowl XI win is laughable. But Roger gonna Roger. There is also the Super Bowl removal and the kick out of the party. The list goes on and on.

So now we wait for the excuse to come from the NFL. Because when Dave wins this auction, which be sure as shit, he’s going to win. If he had to trade all the money he made from Penn to win this, he would. When he wins, how is the NFL going to stop this? Because there is no shot Roger man’s up and sits down with Dave face to face. 0%. If he is smart he would. The first round of the NFL draft drew 16.5 million viewers. You put these two in a room with some cameras and you can double that.

So I’m thinking the NFL will likely say Dave is banned from NFL events so he isn’t eligible to win. They will award it to the next closest bidder. Clearly Roger doesn’t care about the devastating affects this disease is having on people. Sad. Or Roger is going to bid at the very end himself and have some actor come in and pretend to be an NFL fan. Just four god damn hours of this dude ball washing Roger. “Geeeee Mr. Goodell you sure did a swell job with the NFL. How’d you do it?” Woof.

Whatever happens it will be amazing watching Roger pretend Dave doesn’t exist and cheating him out of winning. And it will be even more fun watching Barstool continue to drag him when it happens.


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