Drinking alcohol. I love it, do it all the time, and spend a lot of extra money that I should be on it. With the coronavirus and quarantine; it’s a tough world out there. A mid-day, maybe even mid-morning drink is perfect to take the “waking up alone again because I sabotage every relationship I’ve ever been in” edge off. I’ve done it, you’ve all done it, if you say you haven’t, you’re an absolute lying asshole and I don’t trust you. Quarantine drinking is extreme volume, looking like an accident. YOU can get through this quarantine, continue to binge drink your liver into oblivion if you’d like, if you listen to these few tips:
Timing is everything. Before you grab that first drink, ask yourself: Do I have anything I need to do in the next few hours? Do I need to drive anywhere? No? Okay, I can drink.
Do I have to go on national TV in order to inform the public of the Corona Virus? Yes? Okay maybe dial it down from 11 drinks to 1 or 2.
Listen. I don’t want to spread any “Fake News”. I don’t have cold hard facts. I’ll let you be the judge (Ehh ehh? Good one?). Take a listen:
Listen closely pic.twitter.com/4aD8AVczjD
— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) March 29, 2020
It’s like every time they come back from commercial, she appears more intoxicated pic.twitter.com/VOVPfJx4yl
— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) March 29, 2020
Imagine if Judge Jeanine Pirro had this piece of information. If she only read my blogs. If they understood and saw my ability to flow knowledge to others. My natural leadership qualities. If only I wrote a book.
It’s settled. I’m writing a book and bringing my lessons to the world. First stop, slinging back a couple Cosmos with Judge Jeanine and discussing it on Fox. I’ll have my people reach out to your people.
In all due respect, I do hope that she gets the help she needs. Sometimes I try to be funny. Sometimes I watch the news. Sometimes I pretend to report the news. Sometimes it works.