Finally Good News! Greta Thumbum Has Coronavirus!

SOURCE – Greta Thunberg said Tuesday it’s “extremely likely” that she became infected with COVID-19 on a recent jaunt to Europe — but has “basically recovered.”

The 17-year-old Swedish climate activist said both she and her father, who accompanied her on the Brussels leg of her journey, have experienced symptoms associated with coronavirus.

“I was feeling tired, had shivers, a sore throat and coughed. My dad experienced the same symptoms, but much more intense and with a fever,” she wrote on Instagram.


Just when I thought it could only get bleaker. Trump is going to solve Coronavirus by Easter so I can stuff my face with glazed ham and now that Bond villain Greta Thumbum has the Coronavirus! Everything coming up Kyle!

And before you come after me that it’s wrong to wish such a virus on a little girl. Uhh, Thumbum is 17. I’m pretty sure at 17 you can run for President of Sweden. Listen, you want to play with the big boys in the Climate Change game, then you have to be able to play with the big boys when it comes to blog game also. You don’t see me shying away when people attack Branded. Nope. I’m the drummer boy playing taps on the front lines ready to be picked off first with a bullet to the neck.

What’s Thumbum breaking the rules going outside anyway? Didn’t she know we have a global pandemic on our hands? Who knows how many hands she shook or babies she kissed on her World Tour for climate? Stop acting like the fucking Beatles Thumbum and go back to your villain lair like everyone else. I haven’t left the apartment in days. Instead you’re jet-setting around the globe infecting people.

Thumbum doesn’t even know if she has the Coronavirus either? You can’t pull the wool over my eyes Thumbum. You might have your 10 million followers fooled, but not me. I’m doing my part around here flattening the curve and you’re telling people to stay home after you were just holding rallies with thousands of people and talking to Heads of State. Is Thumbum the most dangerous biological weapon the world has ever seen? Have to at least consider it.

Oh, and I don’t know if you’ve seen this Thumbum, but Climate Change is basically cured. The rivers of Venice are cleaned up. Smog from China is at an all time low. No one’s on the roads anymore and the factories are shut down. Good news, you did it. Now you can crawl back to your lair never to return. Kick rocks, Thumbum. Ya fucking ghoul.

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