The Greatest Comeback In Sports! USA Dodgeball Down 12-2 At Half Comes Back To Beat Canada In Overtime 16-14



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I can’t believe the fucking USA Dodgeball team pulled off the biggest sports comeback ever! The USA team was down 12-2 at the end of the 1st half. Families were about to turn their TV’s off and go have dinner with their loved ones; disappointed they had to turn their attention back to reality. Instead, the USA team amounted the largest comeback in dodgeball history to beat Canada 16-14 in Overtime…in Canada! Everyone in there living rooms were shouting “USA! USA!” through their surgical masks. We’re hearing early reports of 70 year olds, body riddled with Corona on ventilators, removing their oxygen masks to get out a whimper of “Fuck Canada!” Children turned off Fortnite for the first time in a week to see what the commotion was in their parent’s living room, typically reserved for arguments threatening divorce due to the virus forcing quarantine, now turned excitable.
Nothing and I mean nothing was going right for the Americans. One of their players committed a Suicide and missed the Canadian player by a billion miles to lose the fifth game and send Canada to an 8-2 lead.



The first half was mistake after mistake. Taking your eye off the ball, no communication, and not picking the next man up. I was drafting up tweets ready to declare nuclear war on Canada. Making excuses that if our top athletes focused on Dodgeball we’d be World Champs. Could you imagine Zion Williamson launching a dodgeball at one of these poor Canadian’s heads?


But the Americans made the adjustments in the second half and came out ON FIRE! It was 12-10 before you could blink! They blanked those fucking maple syrup chugging traitors to fight all the way back.


This is exactly the kind of unity we needed in a crazy time. What else is better than an American team kicking the shit out of another country in a sporting event? Who would’ve known waking up today dodgeball would’ve been more than a game with a bunch of sweaty out of shape guys and a rubber ball?


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