REPORT: We Need The NBA Immediately Because NBA Insiders Are Releasing Rap Songs Now


A week in a quarantine will have anyone doing some crazy things. NBA Insider, Chris Haynes, just added Soundcloud rapper to his list of jobs. When you have all that time on your hands sometimes you need to record a song in your walk-in closet to pass the time.

Listen, Chris Haynes laid it all out there. He’s got 0 games to cover or flights to take. He might as well try something new. I’m not going to hate on that. What you can hate on is the fact he released this song with 0 production. You’re telling me Chris Haynes went his whole life covering the NBA without ever meeting someone who knows the tiniest amount about music production? I could’ve went into my laundry room and recorded this on Garageband with my dollar store mic and gotten better sound quality.

What the sound quality lacked the beat MORE than made up for it. Felt like an early 2000s 50 Cent/G-Unit hit I’d play on my iPod Touch on the school bus. Picture young Kyle just walking into 7th grade rapping In Da Club blaring out of his head phones ready to learn social studies.

I’m giving the lyrics a B. Yes, a B. The sound quality makes it hard to hear Chris Haynes’ rhymes, but the flow is wayyyy better than I would’ve expected. And when he drops the “I AIN’T GOT NO GAMES TO CUH-VA!” It’s a good line. I don’t believe I have the slightest clue for musical talent, but it stuck with me and being memorable is half the challenge to making it in the rap game. He even shouted out the “559” in Fresno, California. The toughest streets in San Joaquin Valley. I need to know who did his background vocals though because someone out of no where goes, “Tell ’em C. Haynes. Tell ’em C. Haynes” like they’re backup on a Mystikal record. I hope it’s Woj. If Woj jumped on this track it’d be a consensus A+. Just dropping lines like,

Don’t test me dude, you won’t pass this course,

Steady breaking news with no remorse, 

Woj Bomb in your bitch, they call me the inside source. 



What I don’t understand is he only gave us 1:54 of a 4 minute song. But he said I’m out at the end of the 1:54? So is he truly out or is he holding out on 3 minutes of hot fire waiting to see if this quarantine stretches into June? Whatever you do just get Woj or Shams on the remix.


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