Gronk Signing With….The WWE?

BadGalAli

I gave up on Rob Gronkowski ever returning to the football field about week 8 into the 2019 NFL season. If he didn’t come back then, it was never happening. Since being retired at the age of 30, Gronk has been performing as the White Tiger on The Masked Singer and making Tik Tok’s with his girlfriend Camille. As someone who spent the majority of his life propelling his entire body full force into other professional athletes, Gronk couldn’t exactly just pack it up and take up golf.

Naturally, most people guessed the WWE was a great place for Gronk to channel his prepubescent masculinity into a career opportunity, again. Turns out they were right.

Some guy with a blue check mark is reporting that Gronk is indeed close to signing with the WWE. I’m not up to speed in the latest WWE standings but it’s all fake right? If we thought watching Gronk catch a 30 yard pass up the seam and getting spear tackled by the knees was tough, I don’t think we’ll be able to stomach all 6’7 of him jumping from the top rope onto a cardboard ring. Does the WWE have health insurance? What is their IR policy? Will Gronk have to negotiate with Vince McMahon? Bill Belichick was nothing compared to these WWE characters.

Allegedly Gronk is available as early as March 20th if coronavirus hasn’t killed us all by then to compete. Is that what you do in WWE, compete? Anyways my guess is Gronk is not about to be some main WWE storyline fighting in anything serious. Kinda like when he signed on to be a Thursday Night Football analyst. He makes 1-2 contractually obligated appearances a season and collects his check just for making people smile for a few minutes.

No matter what capacity, Gronk puts asses in seats. The WWE is smart for signing him, pay him whatever the fuck he wants. Funny thing is I think Gronk would do this for free.

aliweitz

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