This Local News Report In Memphis On The Coronavirus Is A Must Watch

kylep1234

 

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You give me a sassy Black Woman on the local news and I’ll give you a Must Watch on the video 10/10 times. It’s basically Mobile Alabama Leprechaun and ‘Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That’ in one big mash-up. And the woman is 100% right. No one want to bring the Coronavirus in they house. I don’t want the Coronavirus coming over for dinner. If the Coronavirus was at my door I would treat it like it was one of those Verizon guys and pretend I’m not home.

This video has a ton of moving parts so let’s break it down.

This guy spraying his son with green Windex like he’s in my Big Fat Greek Wedding is all time. Like don’t get the fuck in my car. Don’t touch me or anything until I put all this lavender disinfectant spray in your eyeball.

 

 

This woman might now hold the record for most words spoken without taking a breath. She’s like the Twista of the local news interview game. It was fucking impressive. What we really need to talk about though is “Shuredid”. If you don’t think I’m using “Shuredid” everywhere from now on you’ve got another thing coming. Out to dinner and the server asks if I liked my food? “Shuredid”. Did I forget to feed the goldfish before I left for school in 4th grade, resulting in its death? “Shuredid”. Did I pull the plug on my mother because she’s a vegetable and I’m the executor of her Will? “Shuredid”.

 

 

Can we sell “Shuredid” shirts? If this lady is smart she’ll copyright that like the “Hide yo’ kids, Hide to’ wife” guy and capitalize immediately.

But the woman wasn’t even the star of this video. She’ll get a Supporting Actor nom. Our real star is “Virus Bags”. Dressed head to toe in a poncho and some Save-A-Lot grocery bags.

 

 

What an absolute 5 tool player! “VIRUS BAGS!” Probably doesn’t even have a kid or grandchild at the school. The news just found some homeless person who saw a headline outside of the 7-11 they panhandle from and it mentioned a Coronavirus pandemic. The homeless person was probably like “FINALLY!” something I can do with all of these bags I’ve been stocking up for 10 years. Shoes were kinda fresh though. Maybe not homeless. Anyway – good luck Memphis. Did we lose Memphis to the Coronavirus? Shuredid.

P.S. Not surprising a school that still has events in February up on their sign would have a teacher with the Coronavirus show up to school.

Screen Shot 2020-03-10 at 10.11.05 AM

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