Jungle Cruise Boat Sinks at Walt Disney World

brandedgary

This is in no way a Disney hit piece. As Branded’s official Disney blogger i feel compelled to defend the Most Magical Place on Earth.

First let me lay out my Disney Resume.

1- I have been no less than 25 times in 28 years ( Not Embarrassed)

2- I got engaged in Disney world at the Beautiful California Grille, (try the Captains Mia Tai its Delicious).

3- I listen to maybe an unhealthy amount of Disney PodCast (Shout out Rope Drop Radio.. Derick and Doug are my boys and look forward to their new pods every Friday)

4- I married into the Disney Vacation Club (100% not a timeshare) so I look down on all you normal Park goers from my DVC lounge with free soft drinks and snacks, while I also Collect my 20% off on food, magical Experiences, and Merchandise.

See some wonderful photos of me taking in all the Magic.

Here is Me Meeting my Hero Kylo Ren in Hollywood Studios (Please Ignore the Socks and sandals look…..)

KYLO

Here is me in the Fantasy Land trying to pull the Sword from the Stone

sward

And Finally here is Me riding the Space Mountain (Pure Joy)

SPace

Now that we have established my Disney Dominance on Branded’s other bloggers we can move on to the story that has shocked me and my fellow Mouseketeers

A Jungle cruise boat sank yesterday in Disney world. Now Jungle Cruise is a Day One attraction. For all you Disney NOOBs out there that means it opened the same day Disney World opened about 50 years ago.

First there were no injuries and no one drown, But it is not a good look for Disney. You know what is not magical a boat surrounded by fake animatronic animals sinking into nasty theme park water. Trust me I have been there too many times I know that water is gross.

BELOW ARE SOME VERY GRAPHIC PHOTOS OF THE SITUATION.

Shout out to the Skipper going down with his ship.

As an avid Disney goer when I saw these photos only one thing came to mind. FREE FAST PASSES FOR EVERYONE!!!!! Damn right I would want a fast pass maybe two, I don’t have two hours of precious park time to waste and wait in line for Seven Dwarves Mine train after I just escaped basically the Titanic 2.0; no Disney is about one thing Rides! So spray some flex seal on that boat and get it back in the water.

If this was me and let’s say Kyle on this boat I would have let his ass go in the water faster than Rose dropping Jack off that big door. (But Kyle could probably just stand and not drown I guess that is one of the maybe 3 perks of being 6’5.)

Quick Jungle Cruise Joke. (you already showed me the back side off water) HAHAHA  I bet only a few readers got that, maybe none…

People are also asking, was this all for the publicity since Jungle Cruise the Movie Starring The Rock is coming to Theaters some day soon????

Regardless Not a good start to the post Bob Iger era.

Clean it up Disney I’ll see you in 4 weeks.

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