SOURCE – The Vatican said the pontiff, 83, had a ‘slight indisposition’ and would proceed with the rest of his planned work today but ‘preferred to stay near Santa Marta’, the Vatican hotel where he lives. There was no word from the Vatican about the nature of his illness, but the pope was seen coughing and blowing his nose during the Ash Wednesday Mass. Yesterday, he told well-wishers: ‘I wish, again, to express my closeness to those who are ill with coronavirus and to health-care workers who are caring for them.
Yesterday, at the Vatican, Pope Francis mentioned during Ash Wednesday Mass that he was praying for everyone who was affected by the Coronavirus. Northern Italy was the latest part of the world hit with the Coronavirus as 400 cases have been reported so far. Well today Pope Frankie had to cancel a mass due to an unspecified illness.
If you ask me the Coronavirus was searching his name on Twitter to see if anyone was talking shit and saw the Pope had Twitter fingers. You can’t be throwing prayers out there all willy nilly, hoping people beat the Coronavirus and not expect him to retaliate. Not on the Coronavirus’ watch. Coronavirus has a family to support and a brand to grow and you’re going to sit on your shiny chair and preach that the Coronavirus probably should have gotten his teammates involved instead of going 13 for 37 from the field.
Welp, it was nice knowing ya Frankie, because the only thing the Coronavirus loves more than hibernating in places with moist tissue, is old people. I’m pretty sure he’s batting 1.000 on murdering people 60 and over. The damn Vatican is refusing to update the people on the specific illness the Pope has contracted. We can most definitely rule out an STD because the Pope takes a vow of chastity when he is ordained.
Look at him, the guy is blowing his guts into the Hankie of God. What is that thing fucking 5-ply??
How about the fact he already knew he was sick and he decides to go ahead and start kissing people?
Are we sure the Pope isn’t a sleeper cell agent for the Coronavirus? Think about it. Who has the most contact with people on a daily basis? Other than cult leaders, it’s got to be the Pope. Thousands of people come out to the Vatican daily to hear him worship. Besides peeing at a urinal or in a hotel room with an exec. producer of Kill Bill Vol. 1, where else are you most vulnerable? He’s the only creepy old dude that can get away with kissing men, women, and child. Joe Biden has to be furious.
This is the greatest trick the Pope has ever pulled. The Keyser Soze of the Coronavirus. I’ve done a complete 180 on this blog and now believe the Pope is working for Big Virus. This has Little Nicky vibes all over it when one of the Devil’s son took over the Bishop’s body.
I’m onto you Frankie. If I go missing make sure you direct all questions to the Vatican. This might be the last blog I ever write. I feel like my laptop is now bugged for just mentioning this. It’s been fun, folks.