Tim Tebow Will Be The First Ever Player To Have Circumcised His Teammates At The World Baseball Classic This Summer

Tim Tebow will be playing for the Philippines in the 2021 World Baseball Classic. Since Tebow was born in the Philippines back in 1987 he’s eligible to play for the small Asian country. The Met’s prospect will bring a much needed lefty bat to the team. More importantly he’ll be the first player in World Baseball Classic history to have performed a circumcision on a teammate. Trailblazer. Cord-Cutter. Foreskin Fighter. That’s Tim Richard(Dick) Tebow I grew to love and respect.

Many might remember that Tebow went back to the Philippines a lot during the off-season while he was at Florida. He would help provide free medical care which sometimes meant circumcisions. He’s the only player in NCAA history to throw for 20 TDs, Rush for 20 TDs, and circumcise 20 Filipino TDs (Tips of Dicks) in a season.

In all seriousness, there has to be a good chance there’s a 17 year old on this Philippines team that got his cash and prizes draped over by Tim Tebow or his father at least.

This sounds exactly like the next heartwarming summer blockbuster. I can picture Disney execs in a boardroom now. It starts with a rah-rah speech by Tebow in the WBC Qualifiers. Nobody believes in tiny Philippines, but they end up making the WBC. Tebow is one of the older guys on the team and is looked at as a leader. He takes one of the kids under his wing, Manny, who’s 17 years old and has a lot of talent with Big League dreams, but his anger issues get in the way. They play the Dominican Republic in the first game of the Round Robin pool and get smoked 16-0. They somehow by the grace of god pull off wins in the next two games and barely make it into the knockout stage. They continue through the knockout stage somehow beating powerhouse country after powerhouse country and continue their Cinderella story journey. They find out that they’re playing the Dominican Republic in the finals. The same team who crushed them 16-0 two weeks before, but they promise to not go down without a fight. The day before the big game no one can find Manny. They look high and low all over Miami until Tim finds him at a local bar. Manny is scared, worried he will embarrass everybody back at home and lashes out at Tim. Until, Tim tells him a story about a boy who was also scared back when Tim was in college. He was in the Philippines on one of the many missions he carried out during that time. He remembers a boy waiting in line to be circumcised. This boy was nervous. He’d never had his foreskin cut off. Tim noticed him and tried to calm him down. He made a deal with the kid that when it was his turn, Tim would do the honors. When it was finally the kid’s turn, Tim grabbed his surgical scissors, gauze, and stitching equipment. He performed the surgery with ease. As he’s telling Manny this story he pulls out a locket connected to his necklace. Tim tells Manny he kept the boys foreskin all these years. Just then, Manny has a flashback and realizes Tim was the guy who cut off his foreskin all those years ago in the Philippines. Tim had Manny’s foreskin this whole time! They embrace and Tim convinces him to come back to the team hotel where he’s welcomed with open arms and raucous cheers from his teammates and fans. The next day the Philippines beats the Dominican Republic on back to back walkoff Home-Runs by Manny & Tim. Before they board the plane to go separate ways, Tim hands Manny the locket with his foreskin in it to commemorate what they both had been through. Tim walks off into the sunset and the screen cuts to black. The End.

Too crazy? Or just the power of sports??

I just gave Disney their next blockbuster.

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