Jerry Jeudy Goes By The Nickname Jew. Confirmed: Not Jewish

kylep1234

 

HOWIE ROSEMAN HAS FOUND HIS GUY! Our favorite Chosen in the Eagles organization is about to play second fiddle to Jerry come June. Though confirmed Jerry Jeudy is in fact not Jewish his friend’s call him “One Jew” and that’s enough for him to buy a Star of David to wear around his neck. He doesn’t even have to be a Chosen, but he’s Howie’s Chosen. He doesn’t even need to go to Temple on the weekends as long as he goes into the Temple of Lincoln Financial Field and catches 10 passes for 130 yards consistently.

This situation definitely played out like the scene in The Office where Michael is introducing Ryan to the warehouse guys in the basketball episode, and Darryl talks about how he got the “Miter Rodgers” nickname.

 

- And this is the foreman, "Miter' Rogers". - It's not my real name.

 

You know he started as Jerry. Then someone started calling him “Jeudy”, then “Jeud”, and then they shortened it to “Jew”.

Listen I don’t care if Jerry Jeudy believes in Pastafarianism. If he brings us a Super Bowl and gives Carson a valuable target on 3rd and 8 I’ll come over to the dark side too. I don’t have any dog in this fight. Catholicism? Scram. It was good while it lasted. I’ve got an appointment with Dr. Levi Cohen next week to add some foreskin to my dick. You need me to read a Torah in that language where I just spit all over people? That’s fine. As long as I get to have that cool party that every teenager has once I’m done hocking loogies on grandma. 

Honestly since Jerry Jeudy isn’t a practicing jew, we’re getting the best of both worlds. He doesn’t need to fast during Rosh Hashanah in the middle of the season. And he has G-d on his side. I’m pretty sure Jerry Jeudy just flipped the religion game on it’s head and has a million different higher powers working towards his success. Little Jeudy did miss out on not getting Hanukkah and Christmas presents though as a boy. That was a rookie mistake there.

Mazel Tov!

 

 

 

 

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