The Flyers Are Officially A Wagon! But What Kind Of Wagon Are They?



The Flyers are an absolute wagon right now! They dominated the Winnipeg Jets today and are on a 3 game winning streak and 7-3 in their last 10. They’re a legit Stanley Cup contender as they jumped to #6 overall in points with today’s win and have 16 points in the month of February alone. They’re three points from first in the Metro with the Pens and Caps losing today! This team is a legit wagon right now! But what kind of wagon are they you wonder? The wagon has had an illustrious history, first bursting onto the scene in the 1700s as a catalyst for westward expansion. Without the invention of the wagon Canada most likely is never discovered. So you’re welcome Hockey.


Covered Wagon


covered wagon


The covered wagon was long the dominant form of transport in pre-industrial America. With roots in the heavy Conestoga wagon developed for the rough, undeveloped roads and paths of the colonial East, the covered wagon spread west with American migration. The covered wagon was blue collar as fuck, which describes this team and their fanbase. But the Covered Wagon could be blown over in a dust bowl and this team is sturdy as shit. From top to bottom they are made of the finest material the Chinese can produce. 


Radio Flyer


radio flyer


Sleek, quick, and red like half the guys on our team’s head. Did you ever take your Radio Flyer down a hill when you were a kid? Midway through as you picked up speed and knew you would derail at any moment you started to get nervous. You literally couldn’t stop until you turned away onto grass or there was an immovable object in front of you. This Flyers team is that immovable object and opponents right now are the Radio Flyer. This team cannot and will not be derailed from their goal of home ice during the Playoffs and¬† hoisting the Stanley Cup for the first time in 45 years. Sidenote: Travis Konecny definitely bullied some kids to go down a hill in the Radio Flyer to ‘test it out’ when he was a Canadian youngster.


Subaru Stationwagon




A car that was designed for lesbians, people that love Coexist bumper stickers, and lesbians with Coexist bumper stickers. It’s known for it’s large rear cargo backside used to create space designed by patient and calculated Japanese manufacturers – all to similar to Kevin Hayes’ game. Known to leave some gas in the tank when you needed it most. The Subaru Stationwagon is the Carter Hart of automobiles always coming in the clutch. But the boys are boppin right now and comparing them to a Subaru Stationwagon isn’t sleek enough. The wagon they are has to be bigger, stronger, sleeker, and manufactured by a bunch of Europeans who take no shit!


G Wagon


Screen Shot 2020-02-22 at 4.06.44 PM


The Flyers are fucking G Wagon! Mercedes Benz’s A+ class mid-size SUV that men wish they could be and housewives wish they could be with. It’s all class and led by a Frenchman.

Many have tried to kill off the G Wagon plenty of times, but they always come roaring back stronger, quicker, and with more force. This Flyers team is the most luxurious and easy ride you’ll ever experience. Stanley Cup contenders don’t deserve nothing less than the hottest car out on the streets!

Fire it up!



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