The Astros Have Men Shocked At How Bad Men Are At Apologizing


Baseball twitter was at it again on Wednesday when the Astros did some sort of media tour announcing how sorry they were for getting caught cheating and winning multiple World Series.

It’s like men getting their first real taste of a man actually apologizing to them and what do you know, they are not impressed with what they see.

This is textbook stuff for women everywhere–we’ve heard both of these apology strategies relentlessly for the last hundred years. Bregman with the classic prepared statement of remorse and emphasis on ‘moving forward’. Even the mixing in of the power hand motions to just look more apologetic without actually saying sorry. Altuve with the ‘say whatever you have to say to get through this apology and go back to normal’.

This one was dubbed ‘genuinely remorseful’?? It’s nothing more than the ol’ “just say you are wrong a million times until it devolves into ‘what more can I say!! I said I was wrong!!'”

And get a load of this guy. I bet his wife is at home screaming SEE WHAT I DEAL WITH EVERY DAY?!!?! You could probably show this guy the video of him contradicting himself within 55 seconds of each other and and he wouldn’t see it. This is what 50 years of fake apologizing looks like.

  • If you’re surprised by the level of disingenuous word vomit coming from a bunch of rich, babied mediocre athletes, you need to reevaluate your standards. Men have been awful at apologizing since the beginning of time. Luckily they’ve had years of practice or things could have been much worse.



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