Sitting on a Pole for No Reason

Ever wonder what happens in South Africa? I thought it was beaches, no clean drinking water, and tennis. Apparently, their residents also like to balance on 82-foot poles in 132-gallon barrels for extended periods of time. No big deal.

This news story slid across my desk and wow. Vernon Kruger was airlifted by helicopter, to the top of this pole, and just hung out for 78 straight days. Well, 78 days, 23 hours, and 14 minutes (because an extra 46 minutes would have been excessive). His food was delivered via a pulley system and he had a little hole in the bottom. That’s where he pissed and shit. In 2020, that’s the technology we had for his fecal release.

I think what I don’t understand about this whole deal is this: Vernon Kruger had the record beforehand. All setup and ready to go. He’s in the books. No one else is even challenging this guy. He just felt like it so, back up into the barrel! Time to go.

I feel like it’s hard to have a pointless world record. Records are made to be broken but, if no one breaks them, what’s the point? There’s no hype. No excitement. Then you can break it yourself but who cares? I mean I’m that level of conceded that I would do it just so a bored blogger on a “Blog no one reads” has something to bitch about. But hey, that’s just me.

On that note, here’s a list of other World Records no one wants to break:

Neil Harbisson – First Implanted Antenna

Mr. Cherry – Most underpants pulled on in one minute.

Andre Ortolf – Most marmite eaten in one minute.

Simon Elmore – Most straws fit in mouth

Kevin Shelly – Most toilet seats broken by a head in 1 minute

Li Long Long – Most stairs ascended by use of head

George Christen – Carrying a table longest distance by just teeth


Happy Friday Everyone.

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