I Couldn’t Care Less That Derek Jeter Was One Vote Shy Of Being A Unanimous Hall of Famer

There hasn’t been a buzz on Twitter in 2020 yet bigger than this baseball hall of fame announcement day. Maybe Jen and Brad reuniting the other night, or any time Coach O said Go Tigahs…but after that, this has been it.

Most like any time a ballot is involved and people are voting there’s rarely a unanimous decision that everyone agrees with. But when I heard people start arguing that Derek Jeter made it to the Hall of Fame with only 99.7% of the vote, 1 short of being unanimous, my eyes rolled as far back into my head as is typically only reserved for the release of a new Taylor Swift song.

It’s been an absolute madhouse out there since like 4pm on Tuesday. I’m afraid to refresh my feed to be faced with 270 characters worth of stats on Derek Jeter before and after he dated Mariah Carey. Sure, if even one smut journalist mental midget doesn’t vote for Tom Brady to get into the NFL Hall of Fame I will drive into the depths of this country to confront them in person but that’s because I would die for Tom Brady. Now, we’ve got Red Sox fans out here throwing a fit because Derek Jeter didn’t get a unanimous vote into the Hall of Fame.

Grown men and women are up in arms about this one vote. I mean, he’s in the Hall of Fame right? There’s no special section of the exhibit for people with 100%. I hate to put it so offensively but honestly, who the fuck cares? Get over it. 99.7% is an A+. In school I probably would have cried 3 nights in a row listening to Jason Mraz if my grade was below a 97. The difference between A and A+ is monumental. But once you get into A+ territory you’re playing with house money.

The blue checkmark brigade clocked in for this battle.

This is the most innocent threat on the topic so far. Whoever was that one vote better have better protection than Tekashi 69 when he gets out of jail.

And absolutely not one person is giving this Larry Walker guy any shine. The guy who stats (and visuals) say is BETTER than Mr. 99.7%!


Instead of the day revolving around Derek Jeter’s induction into the Hall of Fame, all people are talking about is that one vote. Somehow I think Jeter will recover from this travesty. I’m sure he’s sitting on his private jet with his $200 million dollars and his Sports Illustrated swimsuit wife reading all your tweets.


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