The Political Version Of ‘Reply Guys’ Are Easily The Worst People On The Planet

Let me catch you up real quick if you’re not a Stoolie or just having been paying attention. Over the summer, some idiot tweeted out something along the lines of “Anyone at Barstool wants to unionize, give me a call.” Dave Portnoy quickly fired off a quote retweet saying, ‘if anyone calls this guy they will be fired on the spot.’ I read it and laughed because I’m not a brain dead dummy that doesn’t understand what jokes are. That should have been the end of it. Portnoy cracks a joke, everyone at Barstool gets it because just like me, that thing three feet above their ass functions properly.

But next thing you know, AOC is throwing punches and Donald Trump Jr is answering back with haymakers of his own. People are tweeting at NLRB.

A beautiful August afternoon turned into a full blown donnybrook. Barstool employees and readers alike couldn’t believe what they were seeing. These dummies are taking Dave seriously??!?! LOLOLOLOL. You’ve fallen right into the man’s trap. Listening to Portnoy on radio, you could hear his ear to ear grin the entire time. AOC basically handed him the milli-milli club on a golden platter.

The dust started to settle a little bit and the story went dead for a few months. That was until today when it came out that Barstool settled with the NLRB. You’re probably thinking this must have been huge. Barstool probably has to pay a fine in the range of $100 million billion trillion. Dave will have to give up control of the platform and will be forced to be union leader at the new Deadspin until his dying day……..

Nope. Not even close.

They had to delete 3 tweets. THREE FUCKING TWEETS. Lol. Congrats on your victory I guess? You really showed them. Mark down January 21st as the day that AOC liberated Barstool employees from their tyrannical leader. They will write songs about her bravery. And if you look into her mentions, it seems like the reply guys have already gotten a head start.

Yeah great job, took Dave 15 seconds to delete a few tweets. Probably took you longer to find that god awful gif.


You’re so brave. Thank you for your service Alfredo.

Need a quick reminder? Three tweets. That was the entire settlement, and in the process, Barstool got a stupid amount of exposure. It goes on and on from there. The entire thread is just one delusional comment after another. If you’re looking for a good laugh, just skim on through it for a bit.

At the end of the day, this entire thing played out perfectly for Portnoy and gang. AOC tried to take advantage of a situation and instead got completely body bagged. I mean she doesn’t even know who the CEO is. It actually comes off like AOC doesn’t think women can be powerful CEOs in America. OH SHIT! Is AOC sexiest???? Makes a lot of sense. I’m going to @ the board of feminism or something like that. We can’t let this injustice continue.

Until then, congrats everyone on your ‘victory’. You did it. Frame that tweet and hang it over your twin sized bed, in your one bedroom apartment that you pay for by working at the local book store because the paper word is, as you would say it, ‘the only way to truly connect with the author’s experience.


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