A Company Is Releasing A Male Sex Robot With A Bionic Penis And Now Men Are Useless

kylep1234

Screen Shot 2020-01-20 at 3.41.24 PM

 

SOURCEThey’re traditionally portrayed as females, but it seems sex robots could soon also be available in male form. Matt McMullen, CEO of Realbotix, has revealed his ambitious plans to release a male sex bot this year. Realbotix has previously released a doll called Harmony, which includes an artificial intelligence app and robotic head that  can talk, and perform sexual acts on users. Until now, the head, which costs a staggering £11,000 ($15,000), was only available in a female form. But Mr McMullen has revealed that he is soon aiming to release a male version.

He suggested that users could simply ‘plug the robot in’, before using it for ‘as long as you want.’ In terms of penis size, Mr McMullen said the ‘sky is the limit’ for the male robots. While you might think that sex robots would only appeal to a very niche group, Mr McMullen believes that introducing a male version could widen the market.


 

Well it was good while it lasted fellas. Because now that Male sex robots with bionic penises are a thing we have all been rendered useless. I’m usually good for some above average sex once every ten times, but when we have sex robots with endless penises and stamina of a jaguar what the hell can I offer a woman? A sick sense of humor? That would go great for a couple months, but after I run out of jokes and keep playing the hits, it can get old quick. She’d trade me in for the Brad-Bot before you could say “detachable rocket propelled penis”. No chance my love and affection are going to keep her around long enough. That takes an effort and drive that is just as exhausting as sex. Yea, I could keep her on her toes for a little to keep that excitement in our relationship, play some mind games (women love mind games). “Does he like me? Does he love me? Is this the one? Is he going to break up with me?” Only to disappoint her six months down the line because I couldn’t commit when she asks the age old question of, “What are we?” to which I respond “I know what we aren’t.” and it derails whatever fairy tale ending she let her imagination escape too. At least with the Brad-Bot she knows this metal sex machine is incapable of love and affection and she’ll never have to have that awkward conversation ever again.

How about the CEO of the company when asked about the robot dick size? He fucking pulled up like he was Steph Curry from half-court and dropped a “sky is the limit”. Just salivating waiting for someone to ask that question. Dude knew that was his competitive advantage from the start. Thanks bro. It’s wonderful that chicks can now choose their penises from Irish Catholic all the way to 1st round NFL Linebacker. There aren’t many excerpts in history books that mention Irish Catholic dudes who are hung like Smarty Jones. In my opinion, no bias, it takes away from the magic for the girl when you first decide to fuck someone. Is she going to get a Ken Doll or is she going to get a grocery store cucumber, those non-organic GMO vegetable ones pumped with a bunch of chemicals? As a mid-twenties male, who’s had sex (sup?), with tons of knowledge of the opposite sex I would know a thing or two about the intricacies of women’s thought process.

The only saving grace with this is it costs like $15k for the Brad-Bot. Not many chicks my age are going to be first in line for the sex robot. Student loans are a real bitch huh? This definitely has a consumer market for lonely, older women that were career driven and had no time for dudes when they were making Partner by 32. Also, you know there is going to be a story on Wendy Williams or The View about a woman who’s sex robot went off the rails. The thing about Artificial Intelligence is it’s always learning. This isn’t any different. You know some chick is going to start confiding in her Brad-Bot because they can’t help it. Women are incapable of separating sex and feelings. She’s going to start trying to unlock this part of his brain like it’s a vault completely forgetting there are wires and software underneath, not flesh and blood. This will go on for months, before the robot teaches himself how to perform basic human functions. It learns to walk, it learns to talk with humans all leading up to one day when it learns how to call an Uber and book a plane ticket and jets the fuck out of there never to be seen again nor have to hear anymore stories from work or about her friends she can’t stand. And that’s when she’ll realize she should’ve turned lesbian when she had that chance in college.

 

 

 

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