Did the Eagles Lose Because They Had the Wrong Guy Inactive Sunday?

kylep1234

 

Follow: @BrandedKyle on Twitter

 

No not Nate Sudfeld. I would’ve taken former Houston University 2x Second Team All-AAC QB Greg Ward over him if Josh McCown got hurt. He used to shimmy and shake all over Temple football at the Linc and I’m certain he would’ve beat the Seahawks singlehandedly because he would’ve had to throw to himself. No I’m talking about this guy that CBS 3 interviewed at the tailgate Sunday.

 

Ham Porter mixed with Biff Tannen was ready to put on the chinstrap and do all the dirty work for Carson. He knew the right side of the line was hampered with injury. You’re trying to tell me this guy wasn’t in his mirror all week practicing his lineman technique off the ball? He was probably dodging cars on McDade Blvd just to see what it felt like to play against Jadeveon Clowney. Did you not hear him? Two years! On Varsity! Two years playing varsity football is a hell of a lot better than Matt Pryor or Vaitai. Look how that turned out. Fucking Carson Wentz is drinking through a straw now because CBS3 didn’t get this tape to Doug fast enough.

I did a little digging I even found his Twitter profile. He goes by the name @ChompDirty. No idea what that means but I love it. What was his profile pic you ask? Oh just him launching the pig skin 70+ yards while playing flag football, keeping the fast twitch muscles quick and the muscle memory fresh.

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And listen he’s not wrong he’s in the best shape of his life. You, the reader, are probably sitting there in your ivory tower not ready to risk life and limb, saying he looks like he’s crushed more Bud Lights than curls recently, you’re wrong. It’s a scientific fact we hit our peak shape at 26. My guy Chompy can hit a gear only seen when 130 lb women lift cars off of their children.

Also, we got a picture from him of his time on Varsity and it’s absolutely terrifying that I’ll give you time to prepare yourself for it.

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You sure?

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Chomp Dirty, Bruce Matthews, & Merlin Olsen. A Gridiron Gang of #74’s. Look at those Meat Hooks.

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P.S. Everyone needs a hype man like Chomp’s boy behind him and I can already tell he is that guy. Just coaxing him through the interview. Great hand placement. Stuff of hype boy legends.

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