If Dave Portnoy Or Kmarko Really Want To Piss Off Blind Mike, Let Me Blog On Barstool

Barstool Sports: “After Portnoy’s end-of-the-year reviews called for more blogging, Blind Mike responded by writing a blog about a topic discussed at length on the Kirk Minihane Show. Shortly after posting, Kmarko informed us that Portnoy did not want that blog published because “[Mike] can’t write.” Portnoy later elaborated to Minihane that the topic was one he’d prefer we not bring onto the blog, though Minihane was free to hammer away on his show. On today’s episode of the Kirk Minihane Show, Mike finally learned why his blog post never saw the light of day, leading to an outburst at the Barstool founder (0:53:40).”

So that’s the little rundown of exactly what happened. Mike has made no secret about the fact that he wants to be full time at Barstool and will do whatever it takes. Dave has made it even more clear that he hates Mike’s guts because at times BM can be rather spineless. The interview Mike did on Barstool Radio with Dave was a perfect example of a guy that takes shots and when the tables turn, plays the victim. Literally tells Tommy he is boring but didn’t mean it because it’s a joke but actually does mean it because it’s not a joke but doesn’t really mean it. I think I got that right. Full disclosure Blind Mike as an intern was some of the funniest content in the Milton days. But I digress.


I almost feel bad for Blind Mike. He so bad wants to join the pirate ship and is basically as close as you can get without actually boarding. Being a producer for a podcast that is hosted by Barstool but not actually being on the roster is essentially the same as being a sports mascot. Like the guy inside the Philly Phanatic for example. He’s a part of the game day experience but it’s the Phanatic that’s actually on the team and everyone loves. You’re just the guy in the suit.

So it got me to thinking, if Dave and/or Kmarko really want to grind Mike’s gears let me blog for Barstool. Here’s my offer:

  1. Multiple blogs a day at the discounted rate of ZERO dollars. Now I know Mike can offer this same price point but that’s more because he has no leverage.
  2. Two working eye balls. My peeper game is strong. Not saying I have 20/20 vision but I don’t wear glasses or contacts and have not been deemed blind by the state of Pennsylvania. I’m not the fastest reader but like they say, you don’t have to out swim the shark, just the other guy.
  3. I’ve been blogging longer. In the trenches putting in the sweat, blood and tears. All while Mike is in a cushy podcast studio living the life of Riley. Which that should be a bonus #4 because no shot Mike has a clue what ‘life of Riley’ means or could pull off such an obscure reference with ease.
  4. I have more recent Barstool blogging experience than Mike. Just this year I had multiple blogs tweeted out by Barstool employees. Here’s two for example. One by the CEO herself, Erika Nardini. My words, in Erika’s brain and out her finger tips.

I know what Mike is going to think. Who is this fucking nobody chirping me? That’s a very fair question and one that really hammers home my point. Imagine the rage that would course through Mike’s blind veins if this blog got published on Barstool. Or even just retweeted by Dave or Kmarko. He’d pretend not to care but bet your sweet ass it would be devastating to him. Up would be down, left would be right, his whole world would be rocked.

So I ask Dave and/or Kmarko. Why not give this common man a shot? If not for me, for the sheer fact it would ruin Mike’s year that just started less than 48 hours ago. Let me be the change that Mike can’t see in the world.

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