"Cowboys-Eagles is not a referendum for anything. It's just a game where one of these two underachieving messes makes the playoffs." — @ColinCowherd pic.twitter.com/wWtvv8Q2TC
— Herd w/Colin Cowherd (@TheHerd) December 18, 2019
Sup, Colin? You want to get loco, ese? You think you want to start a turf war with the WooderBoys and come at our guy Eliot Shorr Parks? Just like Kevin Garnett, I’m currently sittin in the house, I’m loadin’ up the pump. I’m loadin’ up the Uzi, I got a couple M-16s, couple nines, got a couple joints with some silencers on ’em, I’m just loadin up clips. Got a couple grenades, couple missile launchers, with, you know, a couple missiles. I’m ready for war. All with your name on them Colin.
I’m not even worried about what you said about Philadelphia. We’ll get to that later. But the WooderBoys Podcast, you’ve probably heard of it since it’s quickly moving up the charts, has a little segment sponsored by our baby boy ESP called, ‘Take It Til You Make It”. That means ESP is our jurisdiction. We’ve redlined him.
You don’t get to take shots at him before coming to us first and receiving the proper approvals. Listen I love Eliot just as much as you love being owned by a guest on your show. I don’t come into your front yard and grade #1 overall draft picks based on if they dance when they’re introduced pre-game or not. I don’t call baseball easy because Dominican players dominate it. But ESP is Gary and I’s baby boy. We’re swaddling and clothing 7lb 6oz Eliot in hopes he continues to deliver the takes we live for. Any shot at him is a shot at us. Any future takes from him that now suffer due to your criticism is on you Colin. There’s a price on your head.
Regarding your comments about Philadelphia, I know you don’t mean them. You’ve done this shtick with Philly fans before whether it’s calling us the dumbest sports city in America for running Andy Reid out of town,calling The Process a fraud, or now this WIP article. We know this is an old clickbait trick. Every pageview guy and gal knows if you say something bad about a blue collar fanbase like Philly, New England, or New York it’s going to get the radio shows talking, the sports blogs talking, and everyone in your immediate family for the next week. I’m not mad at you the pageviews game isn’t an easy one and someone has to keep your hot daughter happy at Christmas.
Where I feel like I have to defend Philadelphia is your comment that the fanbase doesn’t know what it’s talking about. The Philadelphia fanbase is the most passionate and knowledgeable up and down. You’ve got a Sixers fan waking up early to blog Dario Saric EuroBasket streams before anyone even knew if he was coming over. Our fans will yell and scream if one of our own don’t know the rules of the game and speak out of line. How many fanbases can you say police themselves this well?
This Philly scumbag needs to be the NFL Rules Analyst on broadcasts from now on pic.twitter.com/2mh3QHOPpi
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 24, 2019
Picking apart one tiny sub-group that thought Nick Foles should replace Carson Wentz is lazy and biased journalism. And for one it’s our own fault because our radio shows let it happen by cherry-picking callers that will drive ratings. Don’t for a minute though think this isn’t thee greatest and most knowledgeable fanbase in the world.
Feel free though to come on to the podcast and discuss. I’m starting to gray at 26 so I could use some tips on a new paint job.