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Episode 23 – Lizzy Borden and The Bloody Hatchet Wounds

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Welcome back to the CGS blog. This episode is not just a true crime story, it
is the stuff of legends for anyone who grew up in Massachusetts. Lizzy Borden was
accused of murdering her parents. The evidence seems overwhelming at first but
once we analyze it, you’ll hear some incredibly reasonable refutations (I use big
words sometimes, you guys). Anyway, this story is as fascinating as it is gross. We
got poison, denim dresses, bloody hatchet wounds, old soup that everyone kept
eating for some reason, and a fucked-up nursery rhyme which goes a little
something like this:
Lizzy Borden had an axe,
She gave her mother 40 whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father 41.
In researching this episode, we discover that Lizzy Borden was a pretty
amazing woman. She was an avid reader even though she didn’t complete school.
She was an early supporter of ethical treatment of animals. In fact, aside from her
participation in the temperance movement which everyone from Massachusetts
agrees is ill-advised, she was truly a woman ahead of her time. She also had a
rough go of things. Her mom died when she was young and her dad was an
exceptional piece of shit. While Lizzy stood out as a major suspect in the murders, I
think everyone was a little quick to incriminate her while an obvious suspect got
away. I won’t give too much away here but there is a lot more to this story than the
nursery rhyme we all learned as a kid.
I hope you enjoy the episode. It’s a bit longer than I expected which is
something a woman has never said to me. I hope you enjoy it, which is something
I’ve said a lot. If you liked the show, helps us out with a share, review, like,
comment, or a donation via Venmo, Cashapp, or Patreon. Have a great day and
please for the love of god, don’t eat old soup you guys. You will throw up.
Love,
Sarge
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