I Would Like To Applaud The Patriots Fans That Made Patrick Mahomes’ Girlfriend Hate Us

I like to think I know my way around the professional sports WAGS community map. I respect the OGs (even Lala), was raised on Gisele, and even like some of the new regime. I think Travis Kelce is a wannabe fuckboy who makes my blood boil but I would marry his girlfriend Kayla Nicole. All of that just to prove that I am not a bias WAGS news reporter.

But this Brittany Matthews chick is going to be the one that pushes me to my limit. Usually it’s out of jealousy–literally all I want in life is to travel to all the different NFL stadiums, watch football, eat pretzels and ice cream in a suite and oh, not pay any of my bills. In this case I have actually gained more respect for Patrick Mahomes for how he has survived this relationship.

First off I’m not going to say anything at all about Brittany’s appearance. I don’t bring other women down based on their looks. Just not something I can get away, I’m self aware to know that. But it appears other people have said Patrick Mahomes can do better than her, and she assumes they are talking about her looks.


Patrick Mahomes is not exactly a looker. I cannot imagine the IG models of Kansas City are really sliding into Patrick’s DM’s looking for a good time. As much as I want to date a 24 year old that makes $20 million dollars a year, you can have him girl.

But if you’re going to be a real WAG–and at this point she’s just a G–you have to be able to handle more than some Massholes. I’m obviously talking about the string of obnoxious tweets she rifled off during and after the Patriots game claiming that people were harassing her so much that the security conveniently moved her (as well as Patrick’s very enigmatic brother Jackson) to a comfortable suite inside of the below freezing temperatures.

Just two very normal and totally non obnoxious 19 and 24 year old children filming Tik Tok’s on the sidelines. This is the tweet that started it all.

This was great news to me. This is what you call a home field advantage. I want people to be scared to visit my stadium. The Black Hole is fucking awesome. Absolutely no teams travel to Philly for their own personal safety. It’s a hell of an advantage. Are we supposed to sit around and just let anyone stroll in wearing a bedazzled Mahomes jersey and buy her a fucking white claw? One time I high fived right over an innocent couple of Jets fans on a romantic date so many times they voluntarily left the game. If I’m not having fun at my stadium, you certainly aren’t either. That’s how Massholes work.


Brittany then claims that Gillette Stadium security witnessed video evidence of fans harassing her and moved her to a ‘safe location’ inside of a suite. Still she persevered.


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Let’s start by saying mix up the emoji game a little bit Britt. The thinking face every other tweet? Patriots fans have seen every troll possible in the past 20 years of dominance, the thinking face emoji is just so lazy.

Also here’s a tip for you guys: any girl that uses her middle name on social media is an absolute psychopath. No one cares that you have one name let alone two. That’s for social security and TSA only.

Yet all that was well and good until this one.


Really got us there Britt rubbing our 6 Super Bowl wins in our face!! I don’t have enough brain cells to waste on addressing every aspect of this tweet. I didn’t even notice the “Lololol” until just now. The thinking faces and clapping hands were a foregone conclusion. You want us to wait 18 years to be able to brag about our Super Bowls???? What is the fucking point of having 6 Super Bowl championships in 18 years if you can’t brag about them???? When “Patrick” is 42 we’re going to be raising Ben Brady’s championship banners. We aren’t going to remember this tweet in 2 months let alone 18 years!!!

How can it be a new era/decade (btw could have just went with one there) when the PAST is just one year ago when the Patriots beat the Chiefs in the AFC Championship on their way to that 6th Super Bowl championship Patrick will have in just a few short years. The only thing stopping people from not moving into a new era is your brother, just go ahead and win then if you’re so good. I don’t see the problem here.

Lastly absolutely no one hates this more than Patrick Mahomes. I wonder if she told him right away or waited until he saw it on a TMZ alert? “Sooooooo babe, you know how people here are literally the WORST???”

Better be on your p’s and q’s next time Patriots fans are in Kansas City now. Instead of focusing on trying to cause bodily injury to our players with a laser pointer or bringing a domestic and child abuser into our neighborhood, I expect a warm welcome of respect from Miss Brittany and her little sidekick.


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[…] agree with me that it just shows up on my timeline. It mostly started with Patriots fans when Brittany claimed she was aggressively harassed by fans so much she had to be escorted away, which turned out to a complete sham of a story made up by Brittany for […]