Fatties Angry With Peloton, Sink Stock $942 Million Over Commercial


Stop me if you heard this before, but the uglies are up in arms again. This time it’s Peloton’s The Gift That Gives Back commercial.


The uglies are babbling it promotes an unhealthy body image, self esteem, and a bad picture of what marriage is like. Listen you cranks I know you’re feeling a little inflated after Thanksgiving from stuffing your face with a couple more servings of mash potatoes and green bean casserole then your doctor mandated. You’ve gone into hibernating season, your cholesterol levels are at a personal high, but don’t take it out on the fitness commercial. Peloton’s mission is to push bikes and fitness packages to people that want one. They’ve put millions of dollars of research into marketing and finding this demographic. Guess what? Housewives who want to workout fucking LOVE the Peloton bike! Guess who isn’t in their demo? People who sweat out bacon grease when they breathe.

These brave mouthpieces against Big Cycling should be congratulated.

Why do we do this? Why do we get up in arms about a company that promotes a healthy lifestyle to people? Because the woman in it is hotter than you and probably has a better fake life than these miserable people do real ones? The only outrage from the public should be that this commercial was even green-lit. The acting is so cringeworthy not even to mention she has her husband sit down and watch her ‘life journey’ over the last year. No one wants to do that whether you’ve lost 6 oz. or 60 lbs year over year.

So is Peloton going to shut down the ad? Nope they told the outraged beasts to make some room and shove it up their ass. You don’t want to watch a smoke spin on her stationary bike then change the channel. Put on the Great British Bake Off instead and listen to the sounds of your mouth watering.

P.S. It doesn’t help my case that she looks terrified while on the bike like her husband chained her to it until she pedaled for 10 miles.

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