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If You Love Me, You’ll Buy This For Me

CEO Joe

Want. Need. Must have. I’m all about this level of laziness. You want me to pull my luggage around the airport? Ok Boomer. It’s 2019 bitch, I’m at the point now that I just want my clothes to appear at my destination. Dragging it around like some peasant is for the birds. I want my luggage to follow me around.

I want it to wait in line for me when before my group number gets called so I don’t get boxed out by group 7ers. I travel for work often, I get priority grouping. I’m not bragging I’m just telling you the facts.  So when my group gets called and there are people from 3-4 groups behind me blocking the gate. I lose my mind. I can’t handle it. I’d love to have this little guy wait there for me. Or better yet when my number gets called I’ll just have my smart luggage ram the shit out of the back of their legs. Head on a swivel Kathy, my robot bag and I have a flight to catch.

So in conclusion, if all you get could start an email chain or a group text and purchase one for me, that would be great. Everyone throws up a couple bucks and you can make me one very happy young man.

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