Bill Belichick Would Be Stupid Not To Accept Doug Pederson’s Offer To Be The Eagles Defensive Coordinator in 2020

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That picture looks like a man longing to finally find his place in the National Football League.

Once Doug Pederson and the Eagles take it to the Patriots this Sunday mixed with Tom Brady  playing elsewhere next year, Bill Belichick will be looking for a new home. That’s why the always kind Doug would be more then willing to offer Belichick the Defensive Coordinator job, hell we can even bring over Bill’s son who looks like he’s a couple chromosomes short of a DNA souffle.

You might think this an absolute preposterous assumption, but I believe you’re an absolute idiot if you don’t think Bill would jump at the chance to coach with someone he idolizes. Doug Pederson is the only person in this universe that never lost to Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots as a player or coach. Sometimes a man can’t take all of that losing anymore and has to relinquish defeat. It’s like playing sports against your older brother. He mercilessly defeats you and you hate his guts, but one day the pendulum swings and you just grow to respect him and idolize him because that is the only thing left to do. Bill Belichick idolizes Doug Pederson. It’s as simple as that.

Not to mention, Bill loves Philadelphia. His dad coached at Navy and he would come up to Philly every Thanksgiving for Army/Navy. Bill remembers all the times he shopped for bell bottoms in the Wanamaker building or took down a Classic Hoagie from the Wawa on Broad and Chestnut and chased it with a soft pretzel. He used to spend his time in the Gayborhood shuffling to the tunes from the DJ at Franky Bradley’s on a cold Philly Saturday night or slamming pitchers of Bud Light on the second floor of McGillins. When Bill didn’t want the night to end he would hit up Voyeur or Recess for an extra couple hours of Disco. His favorite place to people watch is Rittenhouse Square and his go to order at Franklin Fountain is two scoops of Mint Chocolate Chip with jimmies. The first time Bill ever laughed is when he saw William Penn for the first time on top of City Hall and his knife looked like a dick.


Bill Belichick has been longing to be loved in the NFL. The guy hasn’t been able to etch his name into the history books over his 40 year career. Why not start it in Philadelphia? He’s never drafted an All-Pro wide receiver, he’s lactose intolerant so he can’t enjoy New England Clam chowder, and Robert Kraft has never once treated him like a son. Take the job, Bill. Come back home.

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