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Mugshot Monday: Woman poops on boss’s desk after winning the lottery…

Kmess

Ladies and gentlemen… WE ARE BACK!

Now, you may be asking yourself… Where the hell has to good old MM been lately? Well, for one I have been busy as hell and two… I only want to bring you the best (like Misty.) I don’t want to just throw mugshots at you if they aren’t gold.

Lately I have only been seeing C level.. Maaaaybe B level stuff, until now.

Image – The Valley Report

You might be saying, that pic isn’t that funny, and I agree. I have given you a billion funnier mugshots. However the reason the got arrested is pure gold.

So, the woman pictured above hit it big on a Friday. Won the lottery for 3 million dollars. Like most people who would win that much, she didn’t want to keep working at the present time. However, instead of a call, or an email or even a goodbye handshake. She left her boss a big steaming pile of shit.

The Valley Report “I slowly opened the door to discover the woman with her pants around her ankles, hunched over on my desk like a hippopotamus/cheetah dropping a massive poo on my desk. She shot her head towards me and locked eyes. I was frozen in shock and fear. In my peripheral vision I saw a huge mud-monkey sliming out of her butt like a Play-Doh fun factory.”“

That is 100000% one of the greatest things I’ve ever read since I could read. And I’m 32 but have been reading for 35 years.

Until I read her quote of course..

The Valley ReportIt was worth it,” the woman said on arrest. “On Friday when I realized I hit the lotto, I knew this would be the first thing I would do. I hit up every Mexican food truck and saved my dumps all weekend. I was shuffling around like a death-row inmate trying not to explode. I’ve been putting up with that guy’s shit for years, it’s time he put up with some of mine.”

There is nothing else for me to say… That is all.

Happy Mugshot Monday everyone.

-Kmess

 

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