James Dean Is Getting His 2Pac Moment

james dean.jpg

(Hollywood Reporter) James Dean, who died in a 1955 car crash at the age of 24, is making an unexpected return to the big screen.

The cultural icon, known for Rebel Without a Cause and East of Eden, has been posthumously cast in the Vietnam era action-drama Finding Jack.

Hollywood is going holographic and it comes in the form of James Dean who was the first sex missile in Hollywood. The backlash from the Actors Guild is going to be glorious that they couldn’t find one human in Hollywood that could play this role. Tom Cruise? Sorry, there’s a height requirement. Ansel Elgort? Too much of a pussy. The Director threw his hands up and decided fuck it we’ll spend $100 million to recreate someone who died 65 years ago.

What happens though if James Dean wins an award for this movie? Does the guy in the tight green screen nylon suit that had to endure having his average sized dick being ridiculed for 10 months accept it? I feel like that is only fair. And how about Jimmy Dean’s agent. He just cornered the dead guy market. Christopher Reeve, Neil Armstrong, Burt Reynolds.

Can we talk about what Hollywood thought was a sex symbol back in the day? James Dean wouldn’t even be Top-10 today.


He looks like James Franco mixed with McCauley Culkin. He couldn’t hold a candle to Leo, Michael B., or Tom Holland today! This guy would be just another Jimmy who moved to Hollywood to try and get his screenplay about superheroes published, because we don’t have enough of those! Nope. He’d be in Skid Row sucking dick for a hit of a crack pipe 15 months in. Just my opinion.

Kyle’s 10 Sex Missiles in Hollywood (today) ranked:

1. Zac Efron

2. Chris Hemsworth

3. Michael B. Jordan

4. Alexander Skarsgard

5. Bieber

6. Timothee Chalamet

7. Joaquin Phoenix

8. Lip from Shameless

9. Kit Harrington

10. Ryan Reynolds


P.S. The 2Pac performance at Coachella was still an all timer. I always wondered how 2Pac stayed so shredded. Yea he did a couple times in the joint so they are most likely carried over prison muscles. But when this guy was on the outside he was still SHREDDED! It baffles me because all the time in the studio and partying every night I don’t think 2Pac was popping in any P90x VHS tapes to crush a couple crunches.

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