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I’m Officially Announcing My New Archnemesis

CEO Joe

Last week or maybe the week before. I’m not 100% sure, daylight savings time is kicking my ass right now. Either way, I made an official statement that I was looking for an archnemesis. Every good guy/hero like myself needs a villain. But finding a good archenemy these days is harder than you’d think.

After I sent out my tweet there were a few suggestions. Drew from DSGN Tree was one of them. But he’s not villain material. The guy is too likable. Also he is a dead ringer for Sam Darnold’s doppelganger, that’s punishment enough. Can’t pile on, that would be just rude.

Of course there is KMess. He’s a rat Cowboys fan who will clap back at you whenever they win a game.

It’s the right thing to do but it still hurts. But unfortunately as much as I hate Kevin and believe me, I hate that guy. We’re talking about the same guy that turned me into an ottoman last season. He’s not the Joker to my Batman. We’ve known each other too long and even though it bothers me he has more twitter followers than I do. It’s not enough to make me want to destroy him.

No I needed someone that I agree with 0% of the time. Someone that like Kevin roots for shitbag teams that I hate with a passion. A guy that I also feel confident I could destroy in a physical altercation. That’s a plan B but want to make sure I can pull that parachute if need be. Someone with a face so punchable that they should wear a football helmet 24/7 just to be safe.

All that taken into consideration and I think the choice is clear as day:

 

WELCOME TO THE CROSS HAIRS EDDIE! I WILL END YOU!

The choice so so obvious I can’t believe I even thought twice about. So from here on out Eddie will be public enemy #1. I will berate him endlessly until the tension reaches a fever pitch in Atlanta. There I will do everything in my power to make sure he misses his flight home, loses his wallet and hopefully gets a stripper pregnant.

I’m not even going to wait, lets get started right away. Look at this idiot and coward here. Pats are in Baltimore last night and they got cooked. He makes a little halftime recap video because he was feeling confident that they would make a come back.

Unfortunately for Eddie, the Patriots and my wallet they did not. But the issue here is where is the final recap Eddie? WHERE? Can’t face the public when Tommy Timeless couldn’t get it done in Baltimore. Sad really. You’d think for such a proud franchise and fan base they’d be able to handle a November loss a little better. Also not sure if you saw the video of Eddie’s brother* who actually went to the game last night.

Ugh, hate to see it. Well that’s all for now. Tomorrow is a new day.

 

*Ps: That’s probably not Eddie’s brother but without knowing for sure it’s 50/50. So basically it is.

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