UPDATEx2: Joel Embiid Ends The Feud
This has to be the longest title in Branded Sports history. But holy shit KAT just unleashed a demon in Embiid. Embiid just delivered the knockout punch in the 8th round of the title fight.
He just ethered KAT! And he’s not wrong KATs never even sniffed the level of success Embiid has had in the playoffs. How are you going to knock someone for having their heart ripped out in an emotional Game 7 where they lose on a buzzer beater that bounces around the rim 10 times and goes in? KAT’s been fishing in the waters of Lake Minnetonka all those years.
But we need to get to the real part of this comment: “You’ve been a pussy your whole life. That’s why you were treated like a bitch by you know who.” Now I’m curious. Obvious person he’d be talking about is Jimmy. But that’s too easy and I feel like this info came from Jimmy. So did Butler really sleep with Towns girl? Did Wiggins sleep with Towns girl? Did Thibodeau? I need KAT to reply so that we can have Embiid release all of the trade secrets!
Update: Karl Anthony Towns responds
I aIN’t nO BiTcH
RaiSeD ARoUnD LiOnS
— Karl-Anthony Towns (@KarlTowns) October 31, 2019
Embiid hits KAT with a right hook, brings his momma into it and his nemesis Jimmy Butler. KAT stumbles but comes back with a nice combo to the body to stifle Embiid. The re-match doesn’t happen until March 24th. Adam Silver I need a Pay-Per-View Hell In The Cell match set up around the All-Star break. Embiid vs. Towns. Maybe add in Jimmy Butler as a special guest referee? Ratings bonanza! Thank me later.
Great team win!!! I was raised around lions and a cat pulled on me tonight lmao.. Got his mama giving middle fingers left and right. That’s some SERIOUS REAL ESTATE #FightNight #IAintNoBitch pic.twitter.com/MWc9p0jy7u
— Joel “Troel” Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) October 31, 2019
Oh did the Nationals just win the World Series? Donnnnnnnnnt Care.
Oh, boy. Joel Embiid better watch out because there is only so much one individual can take before he goes on a rampage and murders everyone in sight. I need you for the next 10 years big fella.
Dissecting this Instagram: Joel isn’t wrong. It’s a fact he was raised by lions in Africa.
Jimmy Butler though was probably enjoying a nice Chianti on his Miami balcony at the Clevander. He didn’t think he’d be thrown into the mix between two former teammates duking it out. This is pretty tepid trolling by Embiid honestly. I feel like during Jimmy’s 6 months here he probably told the Sixers players about some shiiiiiiiit. Probably talked about the time Andrew Wiggins went 0-27 after practice in a 3 point shooting drill. Or how Tom Thibodeau smelt like moldy gorgonzola all the time. Or maybe how Jimmy cucked Karl Anthony Towns by sleeping with his girlfriend. All of those stories aren’t confirmed, but Embiid’s post is still effective because it makes light of the funniest story in the NBA of the last five years. Jimmy Butler literally took G League players and dominated the first string Timberwolves team ultimately leading to Jimmy Butler’s trade to the Sixers.
It also gave us the best ESPN interview conducted since Jim Everett manhandled Jim Rome.
Karl Anthony Towns was averaging 32 ppg before tonight’s game and Joel Embiid might’ve ended his entire season in one night. The NBA already looks at Minnesota as a dumpster fire from last year as they were the 11 seed and won 36 games. Now they’re 3-1 this year and were absolutely dominated by a legitimate team. They are in salary cap hell owing Andrew Wiggins sub-$30 mil over the next 4 years and KAT the next 5. Minnesota sports will absolutely never matter! Stop going to the Rocky steps before a game you idiots!