This is going to be Brandeds weekly power ranking and I want to be as clear as anyone can possibly be, I don’t care if you agree or don’t agree. I am going to be as unbiased as I can but please believe me when I say I don’t give a fuck what you think of this list. I’ll do a write up for a few teams and it’ll vary week to week.
32. Dolphins- Made the Steelers look competent.
31. Jets- I feel like they’re better than the Bengals but they also lost to a worse team than the Bengals did.
30. Bengals- Didn’t lose to the Jags this week.
29 Giants- Imagine thinking Daniel Jones wouldn’t be Eli 2.0.
28. Falcons- This is personal. Should be a bit higher but Dan Quinn took a FG down 10 with like 2 minutes left in the game and cost me money, what a fucking dick head.
25. Browns- Scheduled loss.
24. Bears- Doink city
22. Steelers- Couldn’t even cover vs the Dolphins
21. Cardinals- Huge sad boy hours
20. Panthers- Didn’t want that smoke it would appear
18. Broncos- I think the Broncos and Raiders are the same team tbh
17. Titans- Still bad
16. Jaguars- Minshew magic is still dead but he had an Eli in the Super Bowl type of escape and it was a sick highlight
15. Bills- My suspicions were right, fake good.
14. Lions- Didn’t look great vs one of the worst teams in the league. Still has a shot at playoffs though.
12. Rams- They won by 14 but that was a close game for way too long.
10. Eagles- They want to prove me wrong and be a playoff team so bad. Glad I could inspire some culture change.
9. Texans- If they didn’t already lose to the Colts I would have them at 8
8. Colts- Should be 9 because they only beat the trash Broncos by 2 but they got that win over the Texans already. The Raiders and Broncos are the same team and the Colts and Texans are the same team.
5. Chiefs- They’re going to rush Mahomes back and get him murdered
4. Saints- I think they’re the best team in the NFC especially with Brees back but I have to reward the Packers and 49ers who were more impressive.
3. 49ers- Put a 50 burger up and Jesus this team is the real deal and I love that.
2. Packers- Imagine watching that “highlight” of Rodger over throwing his receiver and thinking it was some crazy impressive athletic feat. You’re all fucking losers. Good win regardless.
1. Patriots- Everyone talking about the schedule doesn’t know sports or are mad their team isn’t as good. With that being said I hate all Patriots fans, you are all so annoying and don’t know what you’re talking about, signed a Pats fan. Ravens at home coming off a bye is scary with the offense not performing well. Big game next week for them.