This is going to be Brandeds weekly power ranking and I want to be as clear as anyone can possibly be, I don’t care if you agree or don’t agree. I am going to be as unbiased as I can but please believe me when I say I don’t give a fuck what you think of this list. I’ll do a write up for a few teams and it’ll vary week to week.
32. Dolphins- I feel like we’ve been here before
31. Bengals- Andy Dalton is making 16 million this year and 17 next year lmao
30. Jets- thought Darnold might be decent after beating the Cowboys and I know the Pats have the best defense the world has ever seen but jesus this dude has 18 turnovers on Monday. I feel bad for Lev Bell
29. Redskins- Not sure how much credit to give to the Skins but they held the 49ers to 9 points after i declared San Fran good so that is a plus i guess.
27. Giants- Absolutely embarrassing. Glad the world has finally seen what I saw and that Danny Dimes isn’t good, at least right now.
25. Falcons- Somehow advanced. Honestly don’t know how they did this but whatever.
24. Chargers- Can confirm bad.
23. Titans- Still stinks.
19. Cardinals- I love this fucking team and I don’t know how or why.
18. Bears- Bears are dead.
17. Jaguars- Minshew magic is dead but super mid ass team. Sad.
15. Eagles- You guys fucking suck so god damn bad. Imagine talking about MVP Wentz and your team isn’t even going to make the playoffs. You lost the division with this game and embarrassed your city, 76ers start soon though so that’s good.
14. Lions- Really let me down this week but luckily they aren’t as bad as the Eagles.
13. Cowboys- Still haven’t beaten a good team. Sucks to suck.
12. Bills- Honestly I didn’t watch the game but there is no reason for the Bills to let the Dolphins get 21 points.
10. Vikings- Might be a top 10 team. 5-11 I would say are all fairly close in talent.
9. Texans- AFC South is a 2 team division and this was a really important game that they fumbled. Refs didn’t help them but the Colts were the better team. I’m looking forward to the rematch.
8. Colts- Probably deserve to be higher but I think them and the Texans are neck and neck.
7. Seahawks- First game this year Russ looked human.
6. Ravens- I am so up and down on this team. I do think they’re good but they live and die with Lamar, which I don’t hate. Mike Vick reincarnated?
5. 49ers- I know they played in what looked like a hurricane but you have to put up more than 9 pooints vs the Skins.
4. Saints- I would assume Brees has the job as soon as he is ready but Teddy played well vs a top defense. He’s getting a monster contract this offseason.
3. Chiefs- Played well and like I said last week they are the second most talented team in the league but without Mahomes they aren’t worth talking about.
2. Packers- Welcome to the top you midwest fucks. I think this team is fake and I think Rodgers and that defense is bad but 6-1 is 6-1 and I reward success.
1. Patriots- Their defense might be a top 10 offense. I think Tom and the offense have looked shaky at times but I also think they’re playing it safe with the injuries and not wanting to show too much vs these bad teams. Week 9 and on the schedule gets tough with a few trap games upcoming but if this team isn’t your favorite in the Super Bowl you don’t know what you’re talking about.