How The Fuck Did KMess Get These Tickets To The Yankees Game Tonight?


Fucking KMess man? What’s this guy in finance or something? I’ve only been here a few weeks, but the guy has a reputation of a world traveler. How much does this dude pocket? Does his dad have ties to the Steinbrenner’s, Jones’, or Board of Trustees for Notre Dame? That’s the only way his fandom makes complete sense. It’s also the only scenario that makes sense to me why this guy is sitting front row at a Yankees playoff game. It costs $30 just to use the speed pitch. You have to fight the giant rats from eating your pizza. These seats have to go for 2 large a piece. Also – settle the fuck down their kid. Act like you’ve been there 27x in your life. You’re going to go into cardiac arrest from popping a blood clot and Stevie Wonder next to you is going to be useless. You think you’re the first Creature to die in the Bleachers? Just continue to teach the kid behind you Yankee History using your Jeter & Posada dolls because he hasn’t witnessed a World Series in his lifetime.

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