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Gronk Is Already The Best NFL Analyst Of All Time

BadGalAli

Follow: @aliweitz

Gronk made his Fox Thursday Night Football debut last night for the Patriots Giants week 6 game. An absolutely perfectly timed introduction, because quiet honestly no one was pumped up for this game, except for Gronk.

Despite confirming 1000% that he will return to the Patriots at some point before Brady retires, it was made very clear that Gronk is good at every single thing he does. 1 game in I am ready to declare him the best NFL analyst/personality of all time. The GOAT of FOX.

His standout moment came before the game when describing Julian Edelman “The Squirrel”.

First of all, Gronk’s right. Edelman is cute as fuck. I personally prefer him immediately after the Super Bowl parade when he shaves the beard (that’s the furry part) and just has a little scruff but nonetheless, nothing to dispute.

And to clarify that Edelman always finds the nut is another factually correct statement from Gronk. Never has a 7th round draft pick found more nuts than Julian Edelman. From Victoria’s Secret supermodels to 3rd and 10s he always shows up when a nut is available.

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There’s no doubt he’s been practicing this in the locker room for years. The most hyped up WWE intro ever and even Terry Bradshaw looked tired standing next to Gronk. To quote Gronk himself, it was certainly lit.

I wish they just released this video instead of this statement that by no means was an actual quote by Rob Gronkowski as we know and love him.

Gronk took a few pre-programmed seconds to describe his feelings on George Kittle and just nailed it. Looks like me! He does Gronk, that’s right!!!

All I know is that somewhere in Tony Romo’s drafts are all the jealous tweets that he wrote but will never send for fear of seeming unprofessional. The minute Gronk decides to do color commentary Tony’s schtick is done. This is definitely the reason Jason Witten unretired too. Can’t have Gronk with a mic just absolutely body bagging your skills off the field just like he did on the field.

But of all the sound bites that came out of Gronk’s stellar TNF debut, it was this one that got the juices flowing. Gronk sounds like a guy who is falling back in love with football. Like a divorced dad who realized he doesn’t actually like the single life of microwaving Lean Cuisines and doing his own laundry. He wants that old thing back, and Gronk and the Patriots are definitely going to renew their vows before this years playoffs. The way he describes watching the hits and says “I’ll always keep it open” 700 times are as close to a guarantee as there is. Gronk just cannot lie. Week 14.

 

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