Okay, so it’s Friday and it’s been a long time coming since my last movie review. I have since talked about Charlie and The Chocolate Factory being the worst movie of all time and how AMC Theaters should die in a car fire but I haven’t actually sat down and penned a legitimate analysis of something still accruing box office numbers. Hell, the last review I did was Spider Man: Far From Home and I just rewatched that shit on OnDemand yesterday for God’s sake.
Anyway, I meandered down to the local theater the other day to see The Peanut Butter Falcon. Since it had been awhile, I flirted with buying a small popcorn but realized I had already refinanced my college loans so I decided to go with those Lifesaver gummies.
Side Note: Why the fuck isn’t there a sugar free gummy worm alternative. I’m not some crazy health freak but I was looking at the package on the way back into the theater and realized that a single pack of those Lifesaver bitches pack over 250% the daily value of sugar.
And that’s the same with all gummy bear brands. Everything has enough sugar to choke a horse and, to be honest, it isn’t necessary. How do I know that? Because I take those one-a-day vitamin gummies everyday and those things are the absolute shit. Probably the best tasting gummy “candy” I’ve ever had and the only reason I don’t bring a bottle of those puppies to the theater is because I’d end up vomiting Vitamin b6 all over the aisle. Make it happen, Trolly/Haribo/anyone.
Okay Joe, deep breaths…
So yeah, I saw The Peanut Butter Falcon yesterday and, outside of a few tid bits, I really didn’t know what to expect. I knew it was a Shia LaBeouf joint and I knew it had received an onslaught of favorable reviews—that’s enough to get me in the theater.
People can say what they want, but Shia LaBeouf is electric, both on screen and off. I’m sure a great deal of his offscreen antics were a result of drugs and shit, but I never felt he hit rock bottom. Like, his plane ran out of fuel and was plummeting from altitude, but I always felt Shia had two hands on the yoke. At least his performances didn’t suffer.
Now, I think he’s clean (not sure) but there’s no arguing what this dude is capable of when he’s dealing with a full deck. In The Peanut Butter Falcon, Shia plays a small town outlaw on the run who winds up developing a friendship with a runaway wrestling fan with down syndrome.
Long story short, the biggest takeaway from the movie is easily Shia’s performance. For some reason or another, he delivers a level of intensity in his performances that are unmatched. I’m not saying he’s a top 25 actor in Hollywood right now, but there’s just something about his presence that demands your attention. The best way I can describe it is “commanding” and, although it’s early, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him get an Oscar nod this February.
Outside of that, there really isn’t much. Without giving anything away, this movie follows your typical “jerk meets naive character and is forced to spend time with them and develops a friendship” narrative that Hollywood loves. Think Rain Man, only with less ingenuity and more Yelawolf.
All in all, it’s an incredibly heartwarming movie and your textbook, feel good friendship story but that’s pretty much it. I just kept waiting for this film to kick into a second gear and it just never did. It was really good, but NEVER great, which was incredibly frustrating. There were opportunities for this movie to take a shot downfield but instead it elected a death by paper cut strategy and beat you to death with checkdowns. It was effective, but not enough to cover the spread.
Final Rating: 8.1 Boats out of 10
– Joey Boats (@joey_boats)
Captain Marvel: 6.4
How To Train Your Dragon 3: 8.7
Avengers Endgame: 9.6
Toy Story 4: 9.2