It’s Pretty Sad The Patriots Are Resorting To Circus Performers To Find Their Next Kicker

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You may have heard Stephen Gostkowski was placed on the IR yesterday and will be out a minimum of 8 weeks. If you keep up with the Patriots like we unfortunately have to at Branded you know the only problem they’ve had this year is their kicker. Literally, they are 4-0, have their best defense since Bruschi played, their 6x SB champion QB doesn’t age, and all they can talk about is how their kicker missed some extra points in the first couple of games. They were calling for his head like he was Ned Stark in Season 1of GOT.

The Patriots have brought in a ton of kickers over the last couple of days Blair Walsh (lol), Kai Forbath, Mike Nugent, & this YouTube sideshow Josh Gable who’s resume consists of an IFL tenure for the Nebraska Danger.


You know it’s just sad that Bill Belichick has to resort to some gaudy trick shot specialist to put the team back together. Most would say the Patriots have no shot of winning a Super Bowl or even the AFC if they don’t have a prevalent kicker tee’ing it up. I do hope Bill signs this vaudeville act because as they say,

“If you’re not cheating, you’re…”. Wait, that’s for another situation involving the Patriots.

Here’s the quote from one of our greatest linguists ever, Lou Holtz, “You use trick plays when you don’t think you can beat a team straight up.” Couldn’t of said it better myself Lou.

Sad to see a once proud organization resort to such low level schemes just to attract fans like some Minor League Baseball team in Fort Worth, Indiana. “Come see the great trick kicker guy, kick it off the field goal posts from 70 yards, wind assisted.”

I hope they sign Josh Gable because it would be a great script for a Disney movie. I remember another guy who used to practice kicking it off of the posts for target practice, and his career worked out for him.


Whoops…sorry, wrong one.

Ahh, here we go!


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