Is This The Worst Scheduled Week in NFL History?

Interesting weekend schedule wise in the NFL coming at us. If you were scrolling through your fantasy lineup and thinking to yourself, “holy shit my entire team plays at 1pm, I better get an early lead” that would be because EVERYONE plays at 1pm this Sunday. In what will be an absolute clusterfuck of witching hour chaos on RedZone, the NFL decided to have just two games in the 4pm slot:

A few reasons for this evident mess: the West Coast teams are in obscure situations. The Seahawks will take on the Rams for a Thursday night affair. The Raiders travel to London because they can’t fill their baseball stadium. The Kansas City Chiefs (I mean, they play in the AFC West so it kinda counts) play on Sunday Night Football. Lastly, the Broncos are in LA to take on the Chargers, so that double-up eliminates a game as well.
But, when you go full conspiracy mode and do some digging like Leo DiCpario on Shutter Island, you find the REAL reason for the jumble at 1pm. Well, well, well, would you look at who is playing during that pair of 4pm kickoffs:

God forbid the NFL miss an opportunity to force feed the Cowboys down our throats. If five days of Get Up talking about nothing but Dak Prescott wasn’t enough, the NFL has now made it so that it is impossible to watch anything but Dallas play. We’ve gotten to the point where it is getting hard to enjoy Dak & Co. losing because then the mainstream media circles their slip-up like a pack of starving hyenas. Sports programs are unwatchable. National radio is unlistenable. Life is unlivable. Congrats NFL, you have somehow found a way to make the Cowboys more hate-able even when they lose.
Our only saving grace is that when we wake up from our 4pm slate snooze, Phillip Rivers will still be slinging it around in the 3rd quarter to get his Chargers team out of a hole. They can never take that from us.
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