help the PPA offered to look up a lost ticket for me but they sent me a porn link pic.twitter.com/kszmRmmdD6
— Audrey ~going ✈ poison swamp~ Whitesides (@audreyotherway) October 1, 2019
A tale as old as time. Girl gets parking ticket, girl loses parking ticket, girl reaches out to Philadelphia Parking Authority to pay said ticket, PPA throws gay porn in her face. Classic.
The PPA may be some of the most hated people on planet Earth, so the idea of them DMing a video of two guys jerking each other off is pretty on brand. They’ve been figuratively fucking the citizens of Philadelphia for years, now they’re just taking it to the next level. This should actually be their protocol moving forward. You lose your ticket? BANG! You’re getting a face full of Buddy Gooner Bate. You’re late paying a violation? SPLOOGE! Here comes good old meat spin. It would be pure anarchy but I promise you this, a lot less delinquent payments.
As far as the guy that sent the link to this woman, I tip my cap to you. No, not because you’re going hammer time on yourself in the middle of the afternoon but the attempt for cover up was a thing of beauty. This fella sent the PornHub link, immediately realizes it and goes “fuck, what do I do?” He could apologize right away and try to get in front of it or bury it under a number of DMs. My man took the later.
In a panic, he just copy and pastes the same message three times in a row. Praying to the God of horny work dudes that this woman won’t scroll up. Great idea, poor execution. If you’re going with the, bombard her with DMs approach, you have to send more than three. You need to send closer to 3,000. Don’t stop sending the same DM. Copy, paste and enter until she blocks you. Don’t stop until she’s the one that taps out.
This woman was really understanding and cool about the whole situation. She could have went full “let me speak to our manager” mode but didn’t. Even felt bad after finding out some idiot might have got in trouble for the incident.
shit I am sorry to whoever I got in trouble pic.twitter.com/OpsWITahgB
— Audrey ~going ✈ poison swamp~ Whitesides (@audreyotherway) October 1, 2019
So cheers to this lady, hopefully she didn’t have to pay the $26 ticket that was outstanding. Feel like that is a fair trade for having to even see that screenshot. Which by the way, to the guy jerking off to these two guys. Come on man. You can do better than that. Get yourself two beefcakes or at least a pair of guys that are halfway in shape. Unless you have a dad bod fetish than more power to you. Either way, enjoy your time off as I feel confident you’ve been fired.
PS. This would have been a can’t miss episode of Parking Wars.