I was walking my dog last night minding my own business when I opened Twitter and saw I had a DM from the Stingray himself. I won’t lie my heart catapulted up to my throat. It’s not everyday you have a college football A-Lister slide in your DMs.
Before I go further – a little backstory.
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Alright, back to how the Stinger and I became BFFs. Somehow I lucked in to having Auburn as my team even though I only started writing last week. I did a quick search of the blogs, this kid Ryan had Auburn originally, I guess he doesn’t have it anymore? Once I win is Ryan going to be in my hotel? Are we going to have to share one queen bed? All I know is I bring my lunchpail to work each day, blog, and ask as little questions as possible. I’ll get these answers while I’m sitting first class dreaming about Magic City and making it rain with 2 Chainz and Trae Young.
I made this video letting Mississippi State know Auburn (hereby referred to as We) were going to kick their asses and told Stinger I’m coming for that ass – with prior consent, of course.
— Kyle (@BrandedKyle) September 28, 2019
Turns out I haven’t been keeping up with my SEC fan, fandom. Stingray isn’t a fan of Miss. State anymore. Supposedly, after he went on Tosh.O a lot of State fans lobbed barbs at him that weren’t nice and replaced him with another guy named Steven Ray. I’ll tell you something, SEC fans can be quite cruel! All the Stinger ever did for you is shake that cowbell and preach the gospel of Dak Prescott. Shame on you State!
I immediately apologized and needed to get to the bottom of this.
All of the SEC, huh? That feels a little excessive, but I heard kids these days don’t even root for teams. They root for players so I guess Stingray is just trying to build his brand and connect with enough Gen Z’ers as possible. Millennials are so last year.
I couldn’t just leave it at that though. I had to make sure he was still doing his weather reports. They were fucking ELECTRIC back in the day. If you never saw one boy did you miss out.
You see how I delivered that sick Joe Dirt quote to let him know I understand the South? He can spot a real southerner when he sees one. Short and to the point, and I’ve come to love that about Stinger. Finally, I had to send him off the only way I knew how – showing love for his new favorite team – the entire SEC.
And just like that, the Stingray never replied. This isn’t goodbye Stinger, it’s see you later.