This is going to be Brandeds weekly power ranking and I want to be as clear as anyone can possibly be, I don’t care if you agree or don’t agree. I am going to be as unbiased as I can but please believe me when I say I don’t give a fuck what you think of this list. I’ll do a write up for a few teams and it’ll vary week to week.
32. Dolphins- Obviously.
31. Jets- Obviously.
30. Buccaneers- You guys lost to a Daniel Jones led Giants team in Tampa, you should’nt be allowed to call yourself a football team.
27. Cardinals- Your head coach has zero idea what he’s doing which probably isn’t his fault. Any and all failures fall on whoever hired Kingsbury and thought it might work. Also, Kyler is 5’6″ in cleats and that is being generous.
25. Giants- I am not going to overreact like every person who decides to write down what they think and send it into the abyss we call the internet. Daniel Jones looked like Daniel Jones, yes it was vs Tampa but a rookie in his first start looked decent and that is a positive. Barkley is going to miss half the year, you one average WR and no defense so you’re fucked but at least Jones might be average.
24. Steelers- I finally pulled the trigger and it feels so good. AFC North might be the worst division I’ve ever seen and my team plays the Jets and Dolphins twice a year.
21. Falcons- Team might make the playoffs if Matt Ryan throws to the best WR in the league when he is wide open in the back of the end zone.
20. Browns- Constant disappointment. Maybe they can make a wild care game but 1-2 walking into the toughest part of their schedule is tough. They are either bad or playing bad and regardless they might win 8 games if their lucky.
19. Lions- Refuse to lose a game but a bad QB and an average at best HC can only keep this up so long.
17. Seahawks- How do you lose to the Saints without Drew Brees in Seattle?
16. Chargers- I keep saying this and I continue to be right, this is the fakest good team of all team. They look good on paper, they have spurts of greatness but ultimately can’t do anything worth anything.
14. Jaguars- Gardner Minshew is who I want to be when I grow up.
12. Eagles- What a quick fall from grace. From potential super bowl team to a question if they can make the playoffs. I do love when the Eagles lose and play bad the loud mouth scumbag delco losers won’t shut up. “This is Wentz MVP year just watch”, “No other team is dealing with injuries like us”, “The Cowboys have played the three worst teams in the league”. Listen, Dallas is so much better than you wawa loving idiots, watch the game one time and get the marbles out of your mouth.
11. Titans- They are starting to show their true colors and are will probably end up in the late teens once it is all said and done. Mariota is so bad its just gross.
10. Bears- Big win (over a bad team). Much needed win, Bears aren’t winning the division but seeing them in the wild card would scare a few teams.
9. Texans- Watson is the realest of deals.
8. Saints- If they keep playing like this they’ll be top 5 for sure once Brees gets back.
7. Colts- Jacoby is the real deal.
6. Ravens- No shame in losing to the reigning MVP. It’ll be exciting to see round 2 of this in the playoffs.
5. Rams- Not dropping because they’re worse but because the Packers are better.
4. Packers- Looks like they have a defense now which might be the scariest thing for the NFC.
3. Cowboys- Like I said last week, in order to be successful in the NFL you have to beat bad teams. Dallas has played 3 bad teams and beat all of their dicks in convincingly. They play the Saints next week and even without Brees it’ll be tough.
2. Chiefs- I was so close to putting the Patriots here just because of Gunner fumbling that punt and Stidham throwing the pick 6, instead I won’t type with my lost money in mind. Chiefs are at worst going to the AFCCG again this year.
1. Patriots- I wish the NFL A) had better teams and B) gave the Patriots a harder schedule. Playing these bums and winning by a million every week is so boring. Patriots were bored too and you can tell by the second half scoring, their offense wasn’t remotely clicking like it was before, Gunner had a brain fart and fumbled then even Bill fucked around and put Stidham, who threw a pick 6 on like his third pass. Bills this week should be fun.