Step 1 of Antonio Brown Becoming A Patriots Robot Is Complete

A lot of speculation has been made about how Antonio Brown would fit in with the Patriots locker room. Would he destroy it from the inside out like a locker room tumor, documenting the whole thing on an Instagram story exposing all those deep dark cheating secrets that Bill Belichick and Tom Brady hold close? Not a fucking chance.

Antonio Brown deserves a gilded diploma for this official graduation of the Bill Belichick school of media. If you wrote this quote down on paper and asked people who said it, you’d probably guess Matt Slater, Tom Brady, Devin McCourty. But Antonio Brown in his first full week as a Patriot after a Thursday practice? Just a master class in PR. If AB can pick up the play book as quickly as he’s picked up the Patriot way of answering questions 19-0 is definitely on the table.

It has got to be taking every single ounce of restraint in AB’s ADHD brain to give this 60 second interview. Unless this is just proof that Belichick and Ernie Adams are so far advanced technologically that they can reprogram people’s brains.

Next is a Dunkin’ sponsorship, that’s step 2.

@aliweitz

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