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Patriots Fans Are Hypocrites…

Joey Boats

Okay, so it’s Tuesday and we are officially 2-3 days removed from one of the most shocking, Boston sports-related Schefter bombs I’ve ever read. As of today, Antonio “The Clown”  Brown is a New England Patriot and I, like most Patriots fans, have mixed feelings.

For the record, I’ve spent the better half of the last offseason RIPPING into this dude, as well as any team whose expressed interest in acquiring him. Right before he initially hit the market, I had thrusted myself on the record multiple times claiming I wouldn’t even sign that dude for the league minimum. People said that was ridiculous, but guess what? The guy didn’t even have a cup of coffee in Oakland before they shipped his ass out so I was vindicated as all hell.

However, since the news broke on Saturday that MY team—the team I’ve argued tooth and nail in favor of over the last 25 years—was the “flock of idiots” (my words) that took a flyer on this dude, I really don’t know how to think.

On one hand, I’ve stated that, if there’s ANY team that could make this work, it’s the Patriots. They’re the ONLY team in the league with the leadership and track record to throw this dude in a corner and tell him to face the wall. On the other hand though, this is a rare case.

Naturally, everyone wants to reference guys like Randy Moss and Albert Haynesworth and Ochocinco but I’m having none of that. Sure, the issues with those individuals were between the ears, but not to this extent.

Antonio Brown literally went off the deep end. I’m talking clinical shit. This guy signed a guaranteed contract and proceeded to declare he doesn’t need football a week later. This guy didn’t show up to training camp on time, and when he eventually did, he showed up in a hot air balloon. This guy filed two grievances with the NFL over a helmet issue. This guy complained about relatively reasonable fines imposed on him by the same organization who just pumped millions into his checking accounnt. This guy had to be separated from punching fucking Mike Mayock. This guy recorded a private conversation with this new coach and aired it out in the form an inspirational (?) Youtube post. This guy asked for a release on Instagram. This guy posted a video of him celebrating after the news he was released broke.

This guy isn’t just another bad apple. This guy IS the bad apple, and the Patriots organization rewarded him.

That said, I’m not in the morality business like most journalists and Tony Dungy. I’m not some pretentious asshat atop a soap box, posing as some paragon of virtue. I’m a fan, and fans think with their dick above all else. When it comes down to it, the only things I want from this team are Super Bowls, and this Antonio Brown guy can flat out fucking play.

Not to mention, he’s an absolutely PERFECT fit for Brady and this offense. He can line up anywhere, he’s not afraid to go over the middle, and by all accounts, he works his ass off. In other words, he’s not a diva between the white lines, which gives me confidence everything should work out.

Furthermore, it’s only for a year and the Pats can just cut this asshole if things don’t work out. People saying there isn’t any risk are stupid, but they’re at least sort of right, and that’s enough for me. Furthermore (x2), the incentives laid out in his contract are HIGH. If he manages to hit those, I can definitively claim the signing was a clear win.

Obviously we’ll have to wait and see, but my fingers are crossed. Does that make me a hypocrite? You’re damn right it does, but it also makes me a fan.

Take your morality and kick rocks. I want hardware. LFG…

– Joey Boats (@joey_boats)

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