Just wanted to use the word sizzurp in a title.
Lonzo Ball, and Josh Hart for that matter, have spent their entire offseason on the Pelicans talking about the Lakers. Perhaps it’s because that’s all reporters care about. Lonzo Ball’s rap career is going nowhere without the Lakers. Can’t exactly look cool in a music video if you can’t rap but also if you’re wearing a Pelicans jersey.
On Josh Hart’s podcast…Lonzo told the story of his first workout with the Lakers:
The workout with the Lakers was the worst workout I’ve ever had. Ever.
It has to be the worst workout for a number two pick. It has to. That’s how bad. It was terrible. They had to come to Chino to watch me work out again.
I was by myself. But I got sick, and I didn’t tell nobody. So, I had drank a whole bottle of codeine. I mean, not codeine, but cough syrup.
I couldn’t move. Ask B Shaw. B Shaw will tell you. He was like, “What the hell?” That was the first time I met B Shaw, and he was like, “I don’t think he it.” I could see it on his face. I would take two steps. I couldn’t dunk. They were like, “Get up.” I was like, “I can’t. I can’t dunk.”
I couldn’t move, bro. I’m like, “Damn.”
After the workout, I’m like, this ain’t – we’re going to have to do another one. We scheduled a second workout, and it was all good from there. But that first one, man. If those tapes ever get released, it’s bad. It’s real bad.
Classic word mixup here between codeine and cough syrup. I know codeine is nothing until you mix it with that promethazine, Lil Wayne taught me that, but it’s a better story this way. Lonzo doing his first workout for the Lakers who had the #2 pick high out of his mind off that purple drank and still getting drafted #2 by the Lakers should really be the plot of Space Jam 2. Magic was probably watching along aimlessly, updating #47 on his top 60 list of destinations not even noticing Lonzo was swerving all over the court missing dunks. I don’t know what Lavar had on Magic but it had to be serious.
This is how bad it’s got for the Lakers. Jayson Tatum, Josh Jackson, De’Aaron Fox, even Donovan Mitchell are probably sick knowing they too could have played on some lean and got drafted by the Lakers. If only they mixed that with having the worlds greatest marketing mind as their dad.